mixed_signals Wasandru I'm not usually one to seriously "journal" on blather, but I've made exceptions before.... So, lately I've been getting better about going out. (Not that you care, Blatherskite, because I suspect you probably don't. But so what! I'm going to share this semi-pointless quasi-anecdote anyway.) Tonight, to my surprise, I found myself saying "Hi" to more people than I generally give myself 'credit' for knowing. None of them were more than distant acquaintances, perhaps, but I often think I know of hardly anyone and tonight I realized that is not the case. Also, I find that, as I no longer care much about society, I have an easier time introducing myself to people. Last week I introduced myself to several people and tonight I did so again. It wasn't even that painful, until confronted with the fact that I know little about pop-culture and other easy chatting points. No one is interested in discussing musical Modes at the bar, including myself, mode-loving-composer though I may be. What I find confusing is this : last week I introduced myself to someone I found attractive. I was not drunk. He responded positively, in a friendly manner. He was flirtatious and seemed interested. I offered to give him my number and he whipped that cell-phone right on out without even pausing to blink. As he was entering my number his friends came over, and then his demeanor totally changed. They did not appear to be his boyfriend(s) or whatever.... He turned away from me and after a pause I said, "Hey, nice to meet you, man, see you round" or something casual like that, and he just said "Yeah" in a cold, distant voice, without even looking at me. OK, whatever, I thought, and left shortly thereafter. Tonight. After prolonged eye-contact with a handsome stranger, I went and introduced myself. At the time I was having my one-and-only drink of the evening. Again, this guy responded in a friendly, open tone. When I turned to leave at an awkward lull, he eagerly tried to keep the conversation going. Vibe: he's interested. After another lull, I made to exit graciously and he said "Wait, here is my number" and handed me a card (incidentally, he had several handwritten cards prepared...). "Come say bye before you go!" he said as I walked off. Two hours of dancing later, I decided to leave, but thought to find him first. I found him about to order a drink. I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I'm heading out but it was nice to meet you, buddy," and he responded with a cold, "See ya," and returned his attention to the barkeep. Maybe I misread their cold responses? Neither seemed like the "play hard-to-get" type. While I ultimately feel good about my social conduct this evening, I am perplexed as to what it is that I am (or am not) doing that changed these guys' dispositions so radically. Sure, I realize that it possibly has nothing to do with me, and I also realize that each presented a red - or perhaps only "amber" (ha ha) - flag : in the case of guy #1, becoming a different person around friends; in the case of guy #2, being more interested in getting a drink than returning a SOLICITED social grace. My breath was fresh on both occasions, for the record. 060818 ... unhinged you don't want me to be dependent but my independence intimidates you you sought me out months after we met but after a few weeks i proved to be imperfect and was tossed aside i could chase you but we both know how that will end 160530 what's it to you? who go blather from