hidden_hearts They call me Truth My heart screams and falls to its knees Curled inward, clenching its fist and fiercely biting its tongue I remember the way it didn’t do that when it was young The way it just sailed so gracefully, so freely And when I said “Be careful, slow down, the world is harsh” It didn’t believe me It said: “What do I have to fear. I have a love inside me so great, nothing could harm me” I would smile at its youthful passion and naïve enviable joy and say, “Okay…you are free to give your love away” The next time it was a little more hesitant But still quite pleasant And it said to me that “The world is harsh but I want to heal it with my love” I smiled and rested my hand on its head And then I said: “Okay…If you truly believe what you said, go out and heal the world instead” And my little heart went to heal the world The next time it came to me very angrily “Why did you let the world do this to me?” It was small and frail like it hadn’t eaten in days And it seemed like it was sucked dry of all its loving ways It held its pieces with its hands and I realized it was broken And I said: “If you only had listened to words I had spoken...way back then Then you wouldn’t have been hurt again.” This time it didn’t put up much of a fight And it went inside my chest to hide And I couldn’t feel it and I thought that it had died But then it came out one night A voice had beckoned it from the depths and it came out into the light It was full again And it wanted to share its love again And I said, “Okay then, I hope this doesn’t end badly in the end, but go out and give your love again.” And it did so And now it is here, clutching to the wrinkles in my shirt I watch its pieces fall and intersperse the earth And I try to grab the fragments But its eyes look up at me and it says to me “Open that hole back up in your chest, so I can find a place to rest” And I did And it climbed in And now I can’t find it 080930 ... unhinged trapped there's no use in telling you now. but i need practice. i am rusty at telling people how i feel. in the short run, it seems safer, but in the long run it crumbles me into broken little pieces that don't seem to fit back together. 081001 ... In_Bloom "And when I fall, you're underneath .A thousand broken hearts .Carried by a thousand broken wings" 081001 ... misstree it's been scurrying down deep in there, plotting, building something out of mud and straw and scavenged parts, and then i made the mistake of hearing the covert rustles and peeling back the layers and looking and now it's frozen with fear and i'm frozen with horror and there's no right way to go but somehow, i'm make it all right. 081001 ... grendel in the back of the freezer, just behind the ice-cream. 081002 ... In_Bloom They Call You Truth? Well open up and let me crawl back inside there because I am starving and stripped and fraying along my edges 081009 ... They call me Truth sometimes... 081116 ... Doar One light, one mind flashing in the dark Blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts. A face in the crowd; unsung, against the mold. Stepped out of the line, like a sheep runs from the herd Marching out of time, to my own beat now The only way I know. 081116 ... Doar Truth, the hole sleeps with the hole I hide and I shift the hole to understand the shift the hole I dream the shift the hole aching desparing dreaming the hole dreaming typing the shift in bloom dramatizing dreaming typing aching 081116 ... In_Bloom It's wrapped up Stuffed up Duct taped Bubblewraped Cotton fluffed in Styrofoam peanuts and A lacquer box Hidden it may be but quiet? This damned things will not shhh It hears passers by, familiar beats Recognized syncs Aching out Bleating out 081116 ... fghio fghio 101116 what's it to you? who go blather from