yummychuckle you guys.

i am SICK AND TIRED of feeling sorry for myself. i dont know if i posted this yet, but even if it was maybe it needs to be said again. its old. its stupid. its pointless. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PRETENDING I DONT HAVE THE BEST LIFE EVER.

I am young and i have a gazillion opportunities. I can be whatever I want to be. I don't need boys to like me just to have some self worth.

and SOME certain people are sure as hell not going to walk all over me anymore. NO more of that. All week I have been positive, optimistic, and friendly. things have been going good because of my change of attitude. I've been down for a short while a few times, but maybe I can control it.
my posture is better.
i excersize more.

I know maybe this isn't so interesting as my angsty depressed been-done poetry. But I am sick of dragging my face on the ground each day because of my goddamn insecurities. and blaming myself for everything that goes wrong in this world.

but...hmm...i dont feel so sick and tired anymore because...I am changing slowly. i dont even like how I'm writing right now, but fuck that. I'm happier. so kiss my ass, depression.

(fuck. just wait til tomorrow when I am bawling my eyes out and slicing open my wrists. hah!!)
Photophobe Glowing Right on.
I know where you're at.

It ties in with reduced blathes, yeah?

My desperation has lost its keenness. Its still in there But I can't see the birds on the horizon and I can't feel the clouds handing over me.

I'm throwing myself into my uni work with glee, I've got off my ass and joined TWO bands to do something with my abilities. I'm taking a writing class.

Maybe I'm not super friendly to everyone, and I still fuck up as I always did. But so what? I always recover, and anyone that really cares about me accepts my fuck-ups.

But its good to be young and think I'm great. Desperation is useful, sure. But not constantly.
werewolf i just am, everyday i am
and it's no big deal,
nothing i did,
or had to do,
but sometimes i get it right.
And maybe someone will see it,
and by that time the reward i wanted so badly that i'd pretend i was won't matter, since i'd have the real reward, what i thought to be the bait the actual goal...happiness, it's the best first step and it always circles in nicely on itself.
thehappychimp Why isn't everyone happier? Would life be so awful is everyone was happy? It could be so easy. But it's not. Bollocks. 020409
.blekk.tchynah.dol. i dont think i really want to be happier. is happy being 'truly' happy with ones' self, or just with the current state of being? can you be happy with being happy? can you be happy with being sad? i think being happy just puts me into a state of vulnerability where i make a fool of myself. 020519
CRO you can be happy about being sad, and
you can be happy about being happy.

you can be sad about being happy, and
you can sad about being sad.

Personally, I feel that being happy about anything is great for your self-worth, and fuck anybody who looks at you funny. Who are they anyway? Do they really matter to you? Will it hurt them if you smile more than they do?
It's not your fault they're sad.
dot breathing 050706
peyton too_contrived
factory reject right now, I am happier than if I were dead. 050830
anne-girl i'm working on it
i just don't know where to start
H3IBunreal Cultivate friendships. 051106
sarah most people wish they were happier
im one of them
hsg if you wait until you're happy before you dance you'll trip and fall.

if you dance as_if you will: become happy and the dance finds it hard to keep up with you.
what's it to you?
who go