two_weeks black-dyed gel product for the past two weeks, all I've done is say goodbye to my closest friends. All of them are leaving, and soon I'll be gone. I won't see any of them again for at least another 4 months, so it feels like I'm seeing them for the last time. On top of that, I've had my last voice lesson and last piano lesson, bidding farewell forever to two of the most influential people in my life. This is also my last week of work. I hate working at the sign store, however, and don't mind that. Saturday night is my last night on long island so I'm going out one last time with my remaining friends; we're going to go see BLOOD RED and FURTHER SEEMS FOREVER at Backstreet Blues in Rockville Center. It should be a nice evening. After that, I'm gone. 010828 ... whitechocolatewalrus The last two weeks have been the same as every other week I have ever experienced in my memory. Pointless and disappointing. I feel un needed. Maybe even un wanted although I am tolerated. My friends are friends, but not really overly involved in me. No one really ever calls me, or returns my calls. I never do anything with friends besides sports after school which I don't really think counts. Everytime a week seems like it is going to be better than normal, above average, and actually pleasing, something shitty invariably happens and I am back in the depressed stage again. No one's there to cheer me up. My mom doesn't even notice. Doesn't ever notice anything. I love my mom and I know she loves me, but is that enough? Enough just to know she does? I want to have a purpose for someone other than myself. I want someone to be able to rely on me. I want these two weeks to be better. I want a lot of things I can't supply to myself. 031210 ... sirflaccid until two years from a pact that will likely go unfulfilled. 051002 ... pete "I wonder when you'll be back. Soon, I hope." It has only been two weeks... but two weeks ago I was drinking frozen coffee with a good friend I hadn't seen in over a year (since she went to France for a year) with my mind wandering to another who was leaving for Austria. It had to be over 40 degrees without the humidity and the wind offered no relief: it was even hotter and more oppresive than the still air. Today is a cool 25 degrees. Some time in the last two weeks the humidity has vanished: everyone is much happier. Hopefully when you get back, we can talk of these things, and other silly things, and some not so silly things. But I've sure as hell missed ya. 060815 ... falling_alone two weeks of my summer left 060815 ... unhinged when_your_boss_is_an_asshole and you get an awesome teaching job, no need to stick around 060815 what's it to you? who go blather from