all_alone_on_a_starry_night gay gizmo my loneliness is killing me i can feel my heart breaking that undeniable feeling that hunger in the heart the lump building in my throat for tears that wont come on this particualr night I am 3000+ miles away from home away from the people I love and from the people that love me the 2 people here that are in my life have abandonded me tonight left me alone on such a night that only comes every 100 years the depth of my soul is shrinking there is nothing here for me i want to go home! i cried the other night, like a baby i miss my family, friends and security how will I make the next 2 years? I fear I will crumble even worse, I will never grow the lump is growing the night is ending my heart is pounding anxiety pumped so hard I'm bleeding it I hated home when I was there yet now I yearn for it wanting only what I left behind wishing I could turn back time and wait for when I was really ready fuck me fcuk me fuck me what am I going to do? I used to be depressed over nothing now its everything now it has substance it is reasonable I want to be held I want a soft voice to whisper everything will be fine, over my sobs I want to cry, but no tears will come fuckin a 021119 ... Rhin i drove out to our hill...into the middle of nowhere, set up camp on top of my jeep, and snuggled deep into my sleeping bag. i didn't even mind the cold. it was actually invigorating. laying there sipping my tea reminded me of times past. i didn't even bother with the 'scope and the camera, because i know i'll never forget. besides, rob was out with his, so at least one from the group had them covered. i'm trying to figure out how to explain my excitement and sheer wonderment at seeing so many of them, but i'm hopelessly failing. isn't it all just amazing?! i mean everything?! i was reminded how small we all are, but how significant our existence really is. with eyes wide open, i felt blessed to be alive. i feel like this after every shower i'm fortunate enough to witness. am i the only one? 021119 ... andru235 tonight, the yeti gazes alone at the sky, lit by distant dwarves a pulsar in his furry pants "bblloppfftt," farts the yeti, shaking his fists at jupiter that gassy giant of the heavens usually the yeti exhibits only gallantry but tonight, he is drunk. it is a beautiful night and the yeti, although lonely, has the stars for company. stars and yetis are dear friends. 051220 ... oren Please direct me to_the source_blathe which began this most_unusual string of yeti_odes. I'm_out of the loop. 051221 ... andru235 go_poetry 051222 ... oren ah. 051222 what's it to you? who go blather from