deb what would i do
with myself
if anything ever happened to you?

and i collapse
in tears
at the very thought

i may look strong
but i'm crumbling
beneath this facade
paranoid tree ohgodohgodohgodohgod

what the hell

i fear nothing,
i do,
i said i fear *nothing*,
especially not you,
but i'm not ready,
not ready,
can't see you yet,
you've got knives
you don't know about
and i can't see
you see me
see me
i can't
admit that i'm
so fucking scared
that i want to run
just at the thought,
i can't admit
that i'm terrified
because i'm fucking *fearless*,
and i'm shaking right now
just thinking of facing
what i swore i had a handle on,
i can't admit
i can't believe
i am *not* in control,
i do *not* have this mastered,
i am *not* fearless,
i am! i am fearless!
please believe me.
while roses wince to love you
to not to
to tell you
this is all physical and
I hate it
auburn I am so afraid of living. My tears catch in my lungs, and I choke on my own inabilities. I like to write sadness more than any other emotion. What does that say about my heart? I'm terrified of scattering too many pieces of myself based on fear, and not having anyone to pick up the pieces.

What if the journey to repaint my soul becomes too long, and no one is up to the task?

I'm terrified of living. Because I don't know when this living will end.
niecespieces I am absoulutly terrified that I will become who I don't want to be.
They say that everyone becomes their parents, in some way or another, so therefore, I am terrified.

I do not want to conform into a society based on wealth, power, and fitting in.
I do not want to conform to a selfish ideal that makes me want more and more, and thank less and less.
I do not want to conform to a certain look that will give me a professional edge.
I do not want to grow up.
I do not want to be a professional.
I do not want to become you, you, you or you.
I want everyone to release their inner self, their true being, and for this world to feel less like it condems me to a certain ideal, but rather supports me into being a person.
Actually being a person.
hsg know_thyself 090523
In_Bloom The propane tank caught fire, the flames spread across to the other two tanks and then rose
Sitting there I just watched even knowing about explosions
I heard you calmly call to me but I couldn't stop watching
That wasn't the terror though
Responding to your raised voice, no longer calm and looking into your face as I ran across the room, that was terror
Your arms were opening as I moved towards, before I stopped short
Our eyes spoke to check ourselves
Even in panic, we are watched
The hand I pat on your arm, noted
Your smile of relief, dissembled and relayed
That was terror
card because i could become who I once was, destined to repeat mistakes... 090706
Lemon_Soda I think I'm terrified of keeping my job. 090707
what's it to you?
who go