isaou_innerviews_redtree Isaou I meant many, must have made a typo and I'm sure that you can sympathise with the old iPod automatic spelling corrections dilemma. My brother is an interesting character. I believe that he has had perhaps the largest influence on me out of my family members in deepening my character and respect and understanding toward others. He has down's syndrome. Have you ever gotten to know somebody with the condition? Who knows what we'll do, play a lot of pool no doubt, have picnics in the park. Sometimes I wish I was the first one to get angry with him so I could voice it and have a good yell. But when he starts damaging our relationship because of the way his friends or his mother are treating him I cannot bring myself to say anything to stop him, because he is already so low down. You still have time do you not? Or is there an upwards age limit? We're doing a study of two poems centred around the theme of the oppression of women by the catholic church in Ireland and viewed the movie in class. It shocks me that it was only exposed so recenty.  Consider it done... 090927 ... rt decisions are abstract. they involve virtually every element that goes into who we are to choose the path by which to travel. every decision will be judged, criticized, and evaluated. some will make us feel pleasure, others guilt. some will feel right immediately. others will take much time and effort to make. my life consists of mistakes as well as successes. i think what's important about making a decision is how you are feeling at the moment and whoever is a part of your decision will be carefully considered. at our snowsports school, i am the teacher they choose when special needs children attend. i have worked with several autistic children and a few with downs. i loved it and enjoyed their innocent zeal to be who they are. how has your brother deepened your character, respect, and understanding for others? what problems is your boyfriend having with his friends and mother? sure there's still time. i could do it. i'd love to go with a bunch of friends. what are the poems you are studying called? who wrote them? 090927 ... Isaou It has not been a good few months, most especially of late. I am very sorry for losing the flow of our conversation, I did keep meaning to reply. Now it's 1 in the morning and I must sleep before a day of study tomorrow. Life goes on. 091030 ... rt it's ok...i did miss our correspondence. i hope things are better for you. life does go on, often dragging us with it, even though we try to dig our feet in to pause it. still, so glad to see you have returned to red. 091031 ... Isaou Thank you, it is nice to be back, although exams are soon so blathering might be patchy (or more frequent in the form of procrastination...). I hear that the US of A is out of recession? Would you agree? 091031 ... rt that's a very good question and a complicated one to answer. straightway i would say no, we are not out of the recession because of the ridiculous amount of unemployment. banks are still closing. stimulus money went to the wrong industries. yet, the government paints a different picture, whitewashing the darkness until it bleeds through in the various neglected places. however, the whole financial collapse has caused many americans to see the true worth and value in what it takes to make a living. my wife and i both have our own businesses which are service related and fortunately we are doing very well because we work by ourselves, are motivated, inspired, and willing to labor tirelessly and hard. there is always someone who needs a job done for them but so many people are just lazy and want the government to give them a sinking, insufficient hand out. also, there are numerous ways to ease the strain. smart people are moving in together to share living expenses. some are growing their own food, raising chickens, selling stuff they make. farmer's markets are booming, many more people are riding bikes. recession? susschmession! there were always be greedy people sucking money out of other people. there always has been. credit is like a drug. you just have to learn how to use it for good and not let it become a monkey on your back. you can't spend what you don't have. know your limitations. if you have to borrow do so with the personal security that you will pay it back. it's a game we all play. 091101 ... Isaou I like that you have your view on everything, and because you're writing it down like this it is well thought through and makes a lot of sense. The recession really has been manipulated by the media over here. It was a big rush of beware the recession and everyone losing their jobs, then it just stopped...it wasn't until recently when I heard that my cousin had been laid off that I remembered it was still there, everpresent. It is a worry that the media control the news, although I am not sure of a way to get around that. 091103 ... rt it all depends on the media source. in america, we have several alternative news organizations that usually can be trusted to give relatively unbiased news reports. national public radio (npr) is one. their program, planet money, is an informative and insightful podcast/blog that gives an easy to understand take on all things financial. how have you been these days? 091103 ... rt it all depends on the media source. in america, we have several alternative news organizations that usually can be trusted to give relatively unbiased news reports. national public radio (npr) is one. their program, planet money, is an informative and insightful podcast/blog that gives an easy to understand take on all things financial. how have you been these days? 091103 ... . sorry about the double post. 091103 ... Isaou What about the whole Letterman/Daily show thing? And FOX news and...someone else. I was under the impression that there was a distinct right and left media in America? I have been mostly stressed, a bit disappointed, somewhat ashamed, also excited, often worried and rushed, usually busy, and I try to for the most part keep music around to tone everything down. But mostly stressed. Yourself? 091104 ... rt you're correct about the left/right media polarization. personally, i stay away from them. i stick with npr, pri, and apm, simply because they seem to report facts and not fluff. also, their opinions are based on well researched journalistic knowledge, not speculation and sensationalism. sorry to hear about your stress. is it brought on by your studies or a combination of things? what are you excited about? how did your boyfriend's visit go? as for me, i'm involved in a large patio construction project for a client. i'm doing it by myself which isn't easy but is a fun diversion from cutting down perennials and cleaning up massive amounts of fall leaves. i'm also very busy making christmas presents for my three girls which i've been doing ever since they were born. i like what you said about music. it is the soul's blood. 091104 ... Isaou Stress is mostly due to studies, partially also by work, and a bit more so perhaps because friendships and the general social scene at school. There are only three more days of school before study leave, then exams, then prizegiving, then school is over for the year. I am excited because I am visiting my boyfriend fory birthday, by myself :) His visit was very good thank you, we had a fun time and encountered some interesting people. So between gardening and ski instructing you are also a builder of sorts? Christmas is only 48 days away. A bit of a worry. It's nice that you make things for your daughters. May I ask what you make them out of? What is your musical style currently? 091107 ... rt whoa...that first paragraph was completely loaded with statements that have my curiosity for your life spinning like another_sun. where do you work? how is the social scene at school stressing you? are you going to win a prize? what made these people that your boyfriend and you met interesting? sure, i've built many things over the years. escape huts in the woods during my high school years, playhouses for the girls while they were growing up, outbuildings and fences for our farm animals at robin_hill, stone planters and walls, the english style wedding garden for my first born daughter and her husband and currently this patio project which is absolutely thrilling me these beautiful indian summer days. the christmas presents i'm making are made from recycled materials. i took an old board game and turned it into a game for beth and her husband. they have a dream to run their own restaurant someday so the game is based on all it takes and is involved in doing that. for hilary, our middle girl, i've revised my story affame le geant, which appears on blue blather, and turned it into a graphic novel. for greta, the aspiring filmmaker, who just returned from shooting her senior thesis film in mexico, i'm working on a collage book of bizzare and mad imagery with poetry. my musical style fluctuates based on mood but i seem to be happiest when i'm listening to ambient, wordless stirrings. it has its gentle way of mining my soul for hidden gold. although the xx are killer and we're going to see fanfarlo soon. how about you? 091108 ... Isaou I work just a few hours a week for my uncle scanning patients records to their files (truly gripping stuff I assure you)  The social scene at school is stressing me because there seems to be a lot of small divisions going on and I think everyone is just a bit sick of each other. I've found myself more and more around people who I do not know very well because it's just easier to pass the time. To be honest, I hope I win a prize. Quite badly. I have for the last three years and I really don't want to break that streak, however this year my grades have gone down so I may not deserve one. The girls who decided to follow us in the park were interesting. I politely *cough* told them to leave us alone and they walked off yelling abuse at us. Then there is a certain someone, who just is special, and I likedthat we met them because it made me smile a lot. You sound very resourceful, much like Odysseus. (I have been studying classics today) I wish my own father was more like you, yes he makes his little projects in the garage, but he doesn't put love into creations for his children the way you seem to. Those gifts all sound lovely and perfect for each of your daughters, I'm sure that they will love them =] What do you mean by ambient wordless stirrings? CDs of ocean breezes and waves lapping at the shore, or? I definitely have a fluxuating musical style also. When driving I enjoy heavy metal..........at school I listen the the iPod app 'sleepstream', if you like ambien sounds I suggest that you check it out. The rest of the time I like a mix, my two favourite American bands being The Spill Canvas and Jamestown Story. 091110 ... rt i'm curious about the certain someone and why this person made you smile a lot. what are the things that make you smile? thanks for your kind words. being compared to odysseus is quite the honor. my wife and i consider our girls our best friends and attempt to maintain a relationship the best we can, keeping a respectful distance, yet staying close enough through texts, phone calls, emails, and weekly visits to know what's going on and to be there for whatever we can do to help. these gifts i make our year long projects and are my way to perpetuate the love i feel for them; instilling my being and fatherly devotion through glue, images, words, paint, and fingerprints. sappy? sure. but, i think it's what a father should do. it's what a family should be. i do love the sound of the ocean. i recently spent a few days at the outer banks in north carolina and fell asleep on the beach listening to womb-like music, but what i meant by ambient are works from peter broderick, max richter, phillip glass, brian eno, animal collective, panda bear...checking out your favorite bands reminded me of my foray into acoustics. i was once an emo fan back in the early days of dashboard confessional. i'll never forget seeing them live in a tiny pittsburgh club and singing along with the packed, sweaty crowd to every word of every song. music is such a swirling, expansive world. never has there been such a vast wealth of genre bending splendor of selection! yesterday i was exploring dj spooky's latest, the secret song...whoa! very cool. let me know how the end of school goes...i hope you win a prize...and when do you go on your trip? 091111 ... Isaou Interaction with them, thinking about them, talking about them. I guess I have a bit of a crush. Sappy indeed but in the very best way, you care very much for your daughters. What is your proudest memory of your children? I'll check out those artists just as soon as iTunes decides to behave. Ah, sadly (perhaps) for me I'm still partially into what one would call 'emo' music, but mostly I would like to think that my tastes do not fall in to any category known to man. Then again I suppose nobody likes to be put into a box.i can imagine that Dashboard confessional would have been amazing to see perform, especially in their early days. Early next year Muse and Rise Against are performing in New Zealand along with many other notable artists; I wish that I could go. The last day of classes was...interesting. Now two weeks of exams to look forward to. My trip is early next year, I cannot imagine making it through the rest of school and Christmas. Is it unkind to want somebody who is, and always has been, perfect to not get a major leadership position? When there are others who would be easily as good if not better at it, but are not as perfect? Sometimes I just want to see the natural order disrupted so that others can have a chance. 091112 ... rt before my wife and i were married, we lived together in ventura, california; at 18, both of us just left and made our separate ways 3000 miles cross country. after 9 months, she wanted to make things right with her family and went back to florida for 3 months, leaving me alone. during my difficult solitary time, i was extremely fortunate to meet a family with five children that lived in a beach house and was often invited over for dinners of fish tacos and a cozy evening of music-making, made-up stories, and cuddling with the children, who ranged from 1-7 years of age. i was gently made to feel welcome and genuinely an "uncle of sorts" where i could attempt my first fledging efforts at what it would be like to be a father and interact lovingly with a child. i strummed awkwardly on the guitar and "sang" what could resemble lullabyes. the kids crawled into my lap and rested their heads on my chest as i struggled to recount fairy tales i had created. i remember going back to my lonely apartment so excited for the future and filled my days cleaning horse stalls at the county fairgrounds and rocking on the waves with musings of our own life with children. i was totally enamored with all of them and truly believe it was their sincere, generous inspiration that became the foundation for our own future family. and so your crush with this couple is completely understandable. at least that is my take on it. i loved your question about my proudest memories of our girls because it has made me revisit their individual lives, sifting through experiences like pages in well-worn, fingerprint-stained journals. for our first born daughter, bethany, it would be her wedding day. a culmination of total family unity where each one of us gave until we were utterly exhausted and created moments of such ineffable wonder we can now only shake our heads remembering her in her glory. for hilary, it would be her home-schooled high school days when she was the director of a small theatre group called the barnhouse players. she led her sisters and five of her friends to perform plays they wrote, costumes they made, and sets they created, all to crowds of about fifty friends and relatives in a small barn with meandering chickens and sleeping dogs during the winter and under wind blown trees, a full moon and stars in the summer. i'll never forget when she was a fairy godmother dressed in a punk outfit and sang a song she wrote on an electric bass guitar. and greta's filmmaking has always thrilled us. when she played softball for a team back when she was 10 she edited a film from footage i shot and showed it at an end of season party and blew everybody away. but i think my proudest moments of her are coming this may in nyc when she has three films she shot showing at a senior thesis film festival on the big screen. i love muse. they are finally getting the recognition they have long deserved. no, i don't think it's unkind to have the thoughts you are having because they are just thoughts, as in verifiable. is there anything you can do about it? that is to get the better qualified person into position? 091113 ... Isaou Your life just becomes more and more intriguing to me. Are you still in contact with this family? Do they know how they influenced your life? A miscommunication on my behalf there sorry, it's just the one someone. Replace all my thems with him and it may make more sense... Hearing about your family is something special, yet it also makes me a little teary-eyed as I wonder if I'll ever look back on moments of my childhood with such happiness as that. I need to start making memories, because as of yet all I have are faint experiences blown up to be more than I realistically remember, mostly undocumented, but oh do I wish I had those days back again. There's a place from my childhood where I would love to take my boyfriend, if I had a time machine that's the one thing I would do. Take him there and let him learn about me by experiencing those moments of happiness I used to have there when I was younger.. Sorry for going off on a bit of a tangent there. They are one of those truly epic bands. Name another? I voted for someone different. I got another job, wrapping gifts I'm the mall over Christmas :) 091114 ... rt thanks again for your kind words. i'm glad my little known life intrigues you. your life fascinates me as well. i lost touch with this dear family soon after my wife and i were married in 1980. the father, whose name was boaz, took a job as a cameraman with a hollywood reality show. their humble lifestyle changed dramatically with the acquisition of big money. yet, the children were still living pieces of art. i reunited with them at a community gathering and we hugged warmly. the mother's name was ruth. she was part latina and part white. so tender in her compassion and fierce devotion to her sons and daughters. they were like flashing gold jewels around her neck. i don't know if ruth or boaz ever think of us. we used to take our daughters over to their beach house in oxnard shores. it was actually called hollywood beach. it was like we would expose them to another world where they would no longer gaze through windows, but they would interact with another so different than what they have grown accustom to. and this became a lifelong lesson for me. i learned in the school of objectivity; that i need to see through eyes of innocent speculation, transferring thought to image and image to construct, and construct into art and art for all to behold. speaking a language of tribal ancestry, translated into the post modern. are you saying you have a crush on another male other than your boyfriend? does he know? tell me please about this special place you desire to take your boyfriend...and how can he experience the happiness you used to have there as a young girl? epic bands? u2? led zeppelin? metallica? nine inch nails? grizzly bear? rem? the cure? depeche mode? it's good to vote. you did what you could. but if a leader gets in you don't like, challenge her. write her and voice your opinion. gift wrapper...cheeky monkey! 091114 ... Isaou I think that it would be interesting for you to try and reach these people again. It's always nice to catch up, you never know what they or the children could be up to now. You make that sound shocked somehow. But yes, to be honest, I suppose that I do. He has very nice hair... And yes my boyfriend does know and it's more of a joke between us than anything because this other male is sort of a joint friend of ours. Do you think that is wrong? It was a property in the countryside where my cousins uses to live. We went up most holidays to visit and stay, and I remember so many fond things about that place. I went exploring around the farm and hills and forest with my cousin, making dens and creating imaginary pets to accompany us. We were a very imaginative pair actually, always having pixies or animals or people round us who secretly may have not been real... I'm not sure how to express this to my boyfriend. I would happily agree with all of those :) I  am assuming that as you have an iPod you use iTunes; what are your top 5 most played songs? Once she has been given the position there isn't anything that I can do about it. For now I will just hope. The person who I voted or has received an interview, but so has this other girl. How is being a gift wrapper cheeky?! First exam today - physics. I can now confirm my previous belief that I completely and utterly do not understand torques. I only wish I had realised a little earlier... 091117 ... rt we did see them about six years after our first daughter was born. their marriage had broken up, but ruth seemed to have survived it quite well. then we left california soon after and lost touch, but as you say, it would be nice to reunite. their youngest child would be 22 now. no, i don't think it's wrong for you to have a crush on a "sort of" mutual friend, as long as you are up front with your boyfriend and it stays a joke. what is nice about his hair? i would take your boyfriend to the country place and just tell him what you told me. if i were him i would think that was fantastic. do you ever think of these imaginary things? do they ever make their way into your present life? i do have an ipod touch. my number one song is modern leper by frightened rabbit, followed by a song from the fountain soundtrack, and #3,4,5 are from the xx. what are your top 5? hope is a great thing to have. i hope the girl you voted for wins. what kind of questions will be on the interview? a gift wrapper could be cheeky if she were to add a secret message to someone's package but don't listen to me i'll only get you into trouble. how did you do on your physics exam? i could use some more torque to get me going in the morning. have you ever heard of the tohora whale exhibit created by te papa tongarewa? it's currently being shown at the carnegie museum in pittsburgh, near where i live. 091117 ... Isaou His hair; well. I must admit I do like a guy's hair long and a bit messy. His defintely is like that, and he has appropriate stubble to accompany it. And I'm going to stop there even though I really could just go on. It's a bit of a trip to get there (yes, it can can a while to get places here) and someone else now owns the property. So I'm not sure how much he'd be able to appreciate it, there's also the worry that I have built it up in my head to be somewhere better than it really is. As for the imaginary things, I actually still have a soft toy that we pretended was a cub of one of my imaginary animals. Otherwise other than thinking about them sometimes they have become a part of the past. I listened to part of modern leper, the vocalist's voice was extremely intriguing. What sort of accent does he have? My top five are slightly less cultured... #1 Cries in vain -Bullet for my valentine #2 Wake up (acoustic) - Coheed and cambria #3 Conspiracy - Paramore #4 The Dutch courage - The spill canvas...and #5 Liar - Taking Back Sunday. Most of those are the oldest of my songs which is why they are so high up..... Thank you. I'm not sure, time management and responsibility ones? Haha! That would be brilliant! Thank you oh so very much. I won't find out my results until late January, English and German tomorrow :(    I have heard of Te Papa, are you planning on visiting the exhibition? They do create some wonderful things. If I were to send you an email, where would I send it to? 091118 ... rt interesting. how does he engage you in other ways? frightened rabbit is from scotland. i like your choices. the poison from bullet for my valentine is kickass. i could never let go of the things i imagined. they are all still part of me, evolving, growing into stories, illustrations, books, and art projects. best wishes on the german and english exams. i would love to visit the exhibit. whales are so beautiful in their immense gentleness.. i've been on whale watching trips and have seen them up close and felt my breath catch in my throat. my email: kzozula@yahoo.com 091118 what's it to you? who go blather from