procrastination cocoon I'm really good at it. In fact, its what I'm doing right now. I have two Java assignments to finish before tomorrow. But I cant seem to work up the energy to really work at them. After the last couple of weeks, I've reached the stage which me and my friends frequntly refer to as the "Fuck it" stage. Its where, you've stressed and worried so much about something that you cant be bothered anymore and just go 'Fuck it'. Whatever happens will happen, and in the meantime, I might as well save my engergy and stop stressing about it. Im also sort of going 'Well, I have help. So if all else fails, just copy those.' Not the best solution, but well. I think my feelings towards Java are already well summed up over on Blue. And now my side hurts. My body tends to enjoy having random pains for no apparent reason. Why does this happen? Its always fun when you listen to a CD you havent listened to in ages and can still sing along to every song. The rclg is making me feel like I should know more random trivia. I was reading an article today about the winner of the Orange Prize for Fiction thinking, I should try and remember some of these names, I'm sure they'll pop up sometime. But Im really bad with names. And really, theres other things I should be remembering [exams in a weeks time]. So. Its really hot in the house today. 070607 ... cocoon Oh dear. Here we are again. Exam tomorrow morning, and have refused to study on the pretext that out of all the exams I have this session, this is the one I know I can pass. On the other hand, I cant say that about the exam I have on Thursday, so I really should be doing something more productive than uploading photos on facebook and looking for distractions on the internet. And its like, I'm not even procrastinating in an entertaining or interesting manner. Im bored, I just dont want to study. Im tired of it, I've had enough, I'm probably going to fail anyway, and I just cannot be bothered anymore. We could put this down to Thursdays disaster of an exam, but really, Im just a lazy bum. And then I get annoyed with myself for not getting good grades. Im such an idiot sometimes. 080629 ... unhinged depression rejection procrastination like hand_touching 080629 ... jane i'll write here later 080629 ... hybrid Each day I have to sweat it out until I can reach its enemy, productivity (tasks and thoughts - wanting to move_forward) but that takes up the day's hours so that I resign to weariness and I_say_tomorrow but now that's today and yesterday, last month and last season that I've been meaning to come_to_terms 080630 ... cocoon Doing it again. Although this time, it could be a bit more serious if I dont get off my lazy ass and do something. Ah well, after lunch. 100920 ... tender_square her digital book sits unread in my inbox, two weeks after i planned to start editing. already, she has graciously accepted a week's delay in the turnaround i had originally agreed to. last week, i was preoccupied with eviction notices and peace_bond applications. this week, it's the recovery of energy spent and spoiling myself. her book is about confronting and integrating the shadow aspects of self and gives directions with tarot spreads to uncover the truth of what is hidden and rejected. i know the real reason for my hesitancy; i’m not ready to know. 230721 what's it to you? who go blather from