robin_hill anne and joes baby lilly the sky opened like summer was in love and then it happened. the dark turned white and under each table a creation emerged, bursting and forming into the undefinable, the creative understood. 030722 ... zoey i am the butterfly who left first to seek other nectar and yet i return more beautiful. you watch me and i blush. 031015 ... crOwl blooming with coneflower, black-eyed susan, and queen anne's lace. we bought an iron bird bath from anthropologie. 040805 ... crOwl yellow walnut leaves are the first to f a l l 040929 ... crOwl the scores of trees we planted five yers ago have formed a privacy screen just as we dreamed. they are lining the kite field and appearing significant. 050806 ... crOwl the horses are finally secure behind new wiring. relief is exahaled like steam into the cold morning. 060102 ... . exhaled. 060102 ... crOwl the snow is gone. there seems to always be some sort of january thaw. we've had snow since thanksgiving. time to start over. there's horse crap all over the holiday grounds from django breaking the fence for a week and getting out to hoof the snow and nibble some dormant grass. 060103 ... crOwl tree burning tonite at 8:oopm, full moon. bring a chritmas tree and vegan treat. 070104 ... crOwl i'm eating pasta primavera, waiting for the girls to arrive. anthony and trevor are expected to accompany them. i don't think either one will show. hope they prove me wrong. i started the fire. it's presently raging. i better go keep an eye out. 070104 ... crOwl sometimes when i see things like the shadows the walnut leaves make on the farmhouse i want to weep. 070610 ... contestant numbah 2 i hate when the water freezes... 071219 ... jane i have this illustrious version in my head, & have had it for years. i wish i could draw it for you, but then again, it seems so three-dimensional. 071219 ... cr0wl we are like a the train that thought he could, chugging up the hill packed with all those things that bring people experience, knowledge, cheer, laughter, beauty, good treats, animals and love. the wedding for my first daughter bethany grace is tomorrow@ 5:00. the ceremony will be in the st. francis garden which exudes with color, style, and design. it is the best we could do. i'm nervous about my father of the bride speech. i don't want to be too drunk. i want to speak like it's me that's saying the words. yeah, i'm a father, but i'm also an individual with a soul. i'm gathering ideas for it like ripe apples. beth and her husband went to the same ballet school. classes were held in the large rooms of a monastery. they didn't know each other then. but they probably danced together. she in his embrace. my wife is doing such an amazing job organizing this momentous event. she has been working her butts off. sometimes she just breaks down from all the stress. it's just that our wedding was so simple and now is her chance to create the one she wanted. plus...it has been cohesive for our family of cuckoobirds. in nyc i bought a banana republic black tailored suit with a skinny black tie and white shirt. i'm thrilled to wear it. i'll be fierce! ....oh, if you have any ideas for my father of the bride speech, please share them with me. thanks... 080622 ... ever dumbening i can't imagine anyone more well equipped to deliver words; you have them all in there already. pick out a few seeds, then flow like KRS-One. 080622 ... cr0wl thanks for the love, james... 080622 ... cr0wl swollen happiness; this camelot 080714 ... // yeah, like my fuckin' head. 080714 ... cr0wl i am the blue lightning appearing in the backyard of your mind. 080715 ... ovissa One of more to come: My minds of inside and of all my presence doesn't move in this place. Thoughts for thinking; mere vagabonds passing through my realm. For these are particles that exist always. But right now no. Right now they are not the subject of my whirling. I just am. As pure as pure as nothing. And what other place have I experienced this but here. What use to try and describe its what it is. But rather what it does. As if a friend, a simple leaf; a beautiful leaf has floated into my bag. I've noticed it several months later. How has its presence on my person changed me? It's green and light, crumpled next to an unopened package of miniature tissues and hand-bent paper clips. But it comes with me always. It reminds me of how I am when I'm there. 080908 ... ovissa this is me coming from my sounds of words. not coming from those words as words. and what others for love and respect and all of me can i muster to you? when im below the hill i feel fake knowing that i am so far from something that makes me feel so perfect. 080908 ... cr0wl zen and the art of dressing a horse's hoof wound snow falls on white ground crunch of horse teeth on dry hay winter hymnal sound first i remove the old dressing coaxing the 20 year-old haflinger with an alfalfa-based grain. he chows down on his favorite food while i work. next comes the warm soak which he absolutely loves. the first time i did it, he actually stopped eating to just enjoy the obvious luxary, looking back at me with a contented gaze i will never forget. he kicked me once. it didn't really hurt. you could tell he was holding back. you see, he stepped on a roofing nail and greta pulled it out. it bled profusely for it was deep. but it ended up getting infected, even though we tried to care for it. i had to have the vet come out and lance the pus. danny really kicked the vet hard. she (the vet) got so pissed that she started pounding him and screaming at him. i didn't know what to think about that. it didn't seem kind or right. even if she is a vet. it made him scared, even of me. until he knew i was only making him feel cozy. and he had a lot of patience as i wrapped up the hoof. one time as i was working with the leg, my sciatica nerve pulsed so hard i thought i had been struck by lightning. 090110 ... unhinged that would be like me screaming at my students that talk back to me.... and believe me when a five year old looks at you and says 'i know everything' when you are just trying to coax her into playing correctly, it's very hard to maintain an even temper. sometimes i think parents torture me with their devil children because they are too chickenshit to parent them themselves. horses are amazing. i haven't been near one in years, but they are amazingly sentient. how many horses do you have on the hill? 090110 ... cr0wl we have two. danny the haflinger and django the thorobred/draft 090110 ... cr0wl we're getting five eggs a day, and petaluma the plymouth rock hen has been caught brooding. we'll let her raise some chicks in the spring. zen and the art of naming hens hens name themselves, you just need to possess the talent of translating them. watch them in their graceful awkwardness, listening to their vocal articulation, a community of ladies under the dominant rule of two rooster/masters...butch cassidy and the sundance kid. the two covertly thinned out its flock under stealth cover and cannilbalised the victims, four total. and now, the coop is quiet of such tragedy, one polish hen, aptly named, scabhead, for that's all that remains since her feathers were mercilessly picked off. she sat for three days with her scalp exposed, but somehow miraculously recovered. i'm soaking danny's foot twice a day and not wrapping it. the wound is clean but very tender still from the vet digging out the abscess. he hates when i touch it in that delicate area. but has not kicked me. 090111 ... cr0wl robins fly bewildered in the onion snow, trying not to appear embarrassed, as if they could be in all their elegant freedom. 090407 ... cr0wl i cut this from kathy's facebook notes today... So, I had just gotten out of the tub... I have notices in my little quiet life here in the mountains all excitement happens when I have just gotten in or out of the tub. The timing is weird. Maybe I just take too many baths. So I hear this weird squawking from the chicken coop. I am pretty much naked with my hair in a towel but run over to the window to see what is going on. There is this beautiful husky dog jumping around my chicken coop and the chickens are all insane. This dog is smiling, jumping, running around with it tongue hanging out. My heart stops. I ran, found my robe,threw on Kevin's mucking boots and ran to the shed to get my bb gun.I am cocked and loaded screaming for the dog to get out of my yard. I am almost to the garden when I see and hear a guy running down next to my horse fence. He thinks I have a shot gun and has got his hands raised and tells me it is his dog, not to shoot. Even in all the horror of the moment I still take a 1/2 second to find his raised hands rather amusing. He has been looking for her all night. I tell him to get his "damn dog". He hurries to get her and then looks dejected and says, "Oh no, she got one of your chickens". He tells me to shoot her. It is then I tell him it is only a bb gun. He's like, "is that all you've got?" So the dog runs by me across the yard with my brooder hen in her mouth, tail held high, with her owner and his leash running after her, down my driveway and out of sight. It is then I realize my hair is in a towel that has half fallen off, the robe I have on is long and too big and has no belt so I am holding it closed with my elbow, I have on Kevin's mucking boots which are also too big, no makeup and a gun in my hands. I just started laughing. I am such a hick. I mean seriously, it doesn't get more hick than that. This kid never cracked a smile but I am sure once he catches his dog and thinks back on the events he will howl and think it all surreal. Damn. hahahaha So I run in and get dressed and comb my hair and run up to survey the damage. Only one chicken gone. Why couldn't it have been one of those good for nothing roosters. I swear they were cowering with the hens. They try to spur the hand that feeds them and act all cocky yet are such chickens in the presence of real danger, all puns intended. The dog pulled one of the boards loose and got the brooder because she was loyal to her eggs. She pulled her off the nest. Makes you want to cry, that part. Actually, I did cry. So as I am fixing the coop the kid comes back feeling very bad. I feel a little better because I actually don't look like a crazy country lady anymore. He offers to pay or rebuild my coop. I kind of feel sorry for him. I tell him it is OK and let him stack heavy rocks back there to keep the dog out until Kevin comes home to fix it. I knew he would feel better if I let him do something. He keeps saying, "sure, I will do anything you need." He tells me he has had her for 5 years and also raises police dogs. He had bred her to one of the German Shepherds and the puppies are about ready to find a new homes and all of a sudden her personality changed. Duhhh, go get her fixed!!!!! He has her in a huge cage but she got out. He looks so tired and frustrated. He says he is getting rid of her. He leaves and I go back in to write this story to calm my nerves. All of a sudden the chickens start squawking again and I run out but it is a false alarm. They still haven't calmed down and are paranoid, or maybe they were singing a song to their deceased friend. They are all lined up on the roosting pole. I go up and tell them it is OK and they calm down. I come back in and write another paragraph. Then Chip starts barking that alarm bark of his so I grab my bb gun and run out on the porch. Here comes Lady Chicken Killer up my driveway. I wait until she gets by the lilac bushes and I shoot but miss. She looks at me and smiles and start to come towards me. I can't decide if she is friendly or not and I may have been able to catch her but I instinctively cock the gun again and hit her square on the butt. I have always been a good shot. I got an A in the BB shooting gym class in high school. I bet they don't have that course anymore. Anyway, she took off back down the driveway. Then I saw the guy running down the street in front of my house with his leash still in his hand. I really do feel sorry for him. Maybe I should have tried to catch her but I need to pick up Beth today and get Greta in NY tomorrow so I didn't want to risk getting mauled. I have too much to do.I had to shoot her so she didn't come back. I also don't have time to act as reigning rooster all day either. Now as I am writing I just heard Brian's dog across the street yelping and Brian yelling at the top of his lungs. There goes LCK running up Helen School RD. I think when this is all over she will be happy to be back within the confines of her humble home. She has had one scary adventurous morning. So tonight as I go to sleep I will remember the young country guy in his big cowboy boots running up and down the road with his leash in hand and laugh and he will be remembering the old lady in a towel, robe and boots holding a bb gun telling him to get his damn dog, and laugh. Damn. What a way to meet a neighbor. Why does God see fit to let me experience it and not K E V I N ???????? Oh... I just heard the rooster crowing. What nerve!! He is in serious denial. 090702 ... cr0wl back home with a new framed b+w from amy of the house on the beach at rodanthe lost to isabelle. kathy and i drove ten hours, listening to the rynomari(jellyprimo) mix,chatting about the highlights of the outer banks. dissolving into each other with the addition of this new dimension. her dad told us he wants to have the families together at that beach house in avon every october. what a beautiful way to spend white_dog_day and caranusa. 091009 ... PeeT I do a ton of work there, writing and graphics. I just finished a bunch of new posters that I did up there. But it's not obvious. It’s a space that just allows… well, it's so fucking quiet. It's quiet but at the same time really busy––not with the internet or magazines or whatever, but with wind blowing through trees, the sound of deer cruising around. That creates a weird energy. 120111 ... PeeT oh wow! so long since we gave a report. king peter died. he was a black and white trina schart hyman cat. walnuts were piddly this year thank god. skunky smelling stuff was off the charts. nasturium and lantana danced all summer reminding us off ventura. ok. after eight. y_que_mas. 121017 ... PeeT thousands of birds descended into the bare walnut trees dousing me with cacophony. 121026 ... log burning fire there were charcoal drawings on the wall of frances bean cobain as a toddler, a watercolor painting of two birds floating on a piece of driftwood in a stormy sea. the table where they ate had a ceramic vase that was made in boffden's school of contemplative arts. inside it were stargazer lillies. there was an amaryllis just planted on a nearby winerack. narcissi strained to bloom in peagravel and terracotta. 121226 what's it to you? who go blather from