jobs silentbob odd blow stupid hard 031021 ... no reason people keep getting cooler jobs than mine is, that pay much better. often they're our former interns (who all now have full-time jobs that pay liveable wages). but i can't seem to get a better job than the one i currently have, probably partly having to do with the fact that i can't ask my current boss for a reference. he often holds grudges and feels betrayed and for some reason thinks it's realistic that we'll stay here forever for nothing. it mostly feels unfair because lots of people in the industry have said how good i am at my job. ironically, better than the people at the larger companies who do the same job. maybe i just have to quit to see what's actually available. 140203 ... epitome of incomprehensibility First sentence: exactly. I mean, I feel that way too. One person I know is now running her own translation company and another just published a poetry book (which won't get her gobs of money, I realize, but it is a substantial accomplishment.) 140204 ... e_o_i I wrote about my chicken_out behaviour yesterday, but not the good news. I have a new job! Part-time, sure, but it's a good supplement to the tutoring - working as a RA (research assistant) this semester for a semi-retired prof. Mostly it'll be proofreading and typing things, not really researching. He's having eye problems and he was looking for someone with academic/editing experience, not necessarily expertise in his field. Now I feel that things are being unfair in my favour, because I wasn't actively looking for this job; the prof knows my father, having worked together in the past. But with the short-lived proofreading job, things were unfair to my detriment. So so so... It's like the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon, Calvin wailing at his mother (I think) who's just told him life isn't fair: "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?" (American spelling.) 150116 ... e_o_i Research assistant. Tutor. Data entry thing-person. So I'm doing three different ones now, sort of - none my "dream job," but that's okay. My literal dream jobs are things like Product Tester of Dangerous Plants, Sunday School Sleep Clinician, and Fictional Character Sex Counsellor. People are still telling me to look for things, asking what I want to do "more permanently." I'm afraid I'm a writer. I mean, that'll be what I do more than other things, even if I don't get paid much for it. Sometimes I don't seem to get anywhere, though. I'd planned to finish a poem in time to have it published in a specific journal, but the deadline came and went. It needs research, and research takes a long time. There are also several books I'm supposedly writing, and a couple of short stories that could be polished up. Plus, when I'm working in non-personable jobs, I forget to talk to people. Such as on blather. I mean, no one here will die if I don't write all the time, but I'm due to answer raze's letter and the Schopenhauer chapter jane posted and I'm afraid I've been negligent. Also, unhinged's remark about gmail chat reminded me that I didn't answer that guy from Senegal whom I know via Zidisha (I won't propose to him, but I can amuse him with my terrible French) plus my actual Montrealy friend who wanted some feedback on writing. So I will go and be artsily sociable. One word at a time. 150214 ... e_o_i Dammit, now I have to wash and fold clothes. They're inescapable. (I'd suggest nudism, except it's not very climate-compatible here.) 150214 ... e_o_i Oh, just fold. Better. Benefit of living with others is chore-sharing. I fold, like fanfiction. I am very pliable. 150214 ... n o m hand 150214 ... n o m door 150214 ... raze yes, you want to help, but some of these things you end up wishing you never said yes to. it's the people that make it so. 150324 what's it to you? who go blather from