*_the missing link_* i just sprayed some of your cologne, and now everything i read looks like you've written it. 020118
*_the missing link_* and in that dream i had last night
we squeezed each others bodies
and the sweetness came seeping out on dripped onto the rug
i miss you.
*_the missing link_* motherfucker, came seeping out *AND* dripped onto the rug.
fuck me and my bloody mistakes.
*_the missing link_* i suppose it doesn't matter, though, really, when i think about how it's all just shyte anyway
shyte that he wouldn't look at twice
because he doesn't 'do' the internet.
bastard. that beautiful, lovely bastard.
*_the missing link_* shyte that he wouldn't look at *once*, even. 020118
*_the missing link_* for fuck's sake, why do i keep spraying you on myself? 020121
blown cherry have you told him it's your soul that's out here?
My him knows it, but isn't interested.
It kills me to know that.
*_the missing link_* bingo 020218
unhinged little red marks i look at
the patterns my hand etched
in skin
in your image
geometrical designs
that could someday connect
my wrist to my elbow
before you fade away
of words
i wrote for you
that you will never see
the marks
that clothes do hide
i could never say
how much i love you
it comes seeping out
of every available outlet
stopped up and congealing
waiting for the glances
and touches
and words
that sustain me
blown cherry I'm sorry *_the missing link_*
I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone.
*warm friendly squeeze of the hand*
sabbie scrunching the letter i wrote you
over and over and over
[its not art, its not even beautiful]
i cut myself on the sharp edge
[the paper fights back]

and the blood is on my wrist and on the page too.
i guess i give you more of me everytime i make you art.
blown cherry Why does this page hurt so much?
Maybe I'm just feeling particularly vulnerable today, and that other day, and the other one, and all the rest of the days, and nights, too.
unhinged i was talking to him today and i looked down at my wrist...the little red lines that a trained eye wouldn't notice. they were ignorable to everyone else but me and i wanted to show him; say 'oh i've tried to kill myself, tried to hurt myself, tried to get rid of everything i hated. i still hate everything and look at the marks of failure everyday.' he wouldn't understand. i just glanced a few times trying not to draw attention to what i knew he wouldn't see and continued writing out the left-hand harmonizations that were due the hour before. 020328
continuous ache dripping onto the page of our short time life's blood, yours if only you'd

sanguineous private thoughts seeking your apperance on my eyelids. yearning for the scent of you on my sheets. i'm clinging to a worn shirt you left behind. letting the smell of your skin fill me. and as i lay, my pillow hints of your cologn. it's there to make it easier for me to pretend you're still around. counting all the minutes. feeling like it's been days. since you've been gone.

counting all the seconds till you return. when did it become so easy to miss you?
r_r . 090320
unhinged blather_irony that one of the things_i_dont_talk_about that has changed over the years into new_ink got dredged up on the recent list

fghio fghio 101114
what's it to you?
who go