cowards SomeoneElse For months I listened to your asinine drivel. Held you in mental arms made soft by kind words, Made strong by mantras of who you really were. Consoled your lamentations, Promised that the idea of you was infinitely definable And ultimately obtainable. Showed you the doorway to the imagination And the abundance of dreams made manifest. Forever falling you were, But I showed you how the direction was determined simply by your perception. All this, all this, Yet when that most sacred and intimate moment arrived, And you spoke a name into the darkness, It was not mine you called. Pen to paper it was hers, Words to screen another, Your lips to my vulva - "What did you just call me?" And you wonder why my back is turned... And when you needed a signiture To free you from that cold, white analyst's room, It was my name that escorted you back to colour. Hardly knowing you, I believed regardless. And when people fled from you In a terror of misunderstanding, Did I not stand and affirm your experience with you? Supporting you, For if you felt it, A Truth was there, right? Always I understood and embraced your confessions. But when my turn for confidence came And I spoke to you in that dark room Of how the 'protection' That is placed between a Woman and man's flesh had failed, Of how the intimacies of our life had called forth another - You ran, You fled, You hid. So I was left alone to be the strongest Woman I knew how In another cold white room - Willfully raped, infinitely scarred. Two months later you re-appeared and wondered why my back was turned... Whilst I am on the subject, What of you who took me to your house and murdered a virgin? Or you who used the fragility of the aftermath of rape To coerce your way inside of me, Telling me that I'd, "Be good at sex some day"? And you Mr Tuesdayafternoonpianoteacherputyourhandstonguedickinsideofme, How does that year of theft From a 9 year olds life Bear on your conscience? And you, You who stand there safe in your distance Full of distain, Finding me too agressive, Too angry, Too bitter. Do you wonder why my back is turned? You probably do, Coward... 000526 ... andshit You cannot be a coward if you're stupid Because the stupid do not know that going Unquestioningly where the stupid group did Is cowardly, and cowardice is knowing Your cowardice but being more afraid Of some stupid little stupid fucking thing Than how your mere reflecting starts to fade, A shadow in the gray and darkening. You cannot be a hero if you're stupid Because a hero first must fear the darkness, Then trace the lights of stars back to their homes. The stupid cannot see that they are naked. Heroes know the body is a carcass. The cowards--naked and ashamed--write the poems. 021012 ... behind the blue words He sees the hero in us all we see naked and ashamed pridefully wanting to play my way song when Hes waiting to hold you and make it right we are sorry we hurt you who er you are there we are sorry we called you bitter and sorry you didnt like us so, we had to go we love you all and will miss staying to know what has come of our sincere prayers for your lives and souls yes, we hurt too and get lonely too but the pain of taking a chance hurting any of you here is somewhat worse than staying if i am taken wrongly but,there are bigger things better they said than just this litle fist of clay can hold Eternitys in the palm of my hand only because He holds me i hope some day youll think better things of me and us more than that, i hope youll lookpast my wodrs to my heart for you to what i am saying to you it is love 030504 what's it to you? who go blather from