nervous_breakdown Jenna I cannot believe this isn't in here yet. Read about my shampoo_breakdown. 011206 ... Inanna "Nervous breakdown" was taken out of the DSM years ago. 011206 ... Jenna Well la-di-da. I wasn't trying to be all technical about it. That's what it was, scientific or not. 011206 ... roomite... when nervous_breakdown turns into a catfight... 011206 ... rolling stone birdmad here it comes here it comes 011206 ... ponder on this It was all a sham So all the poo is on you And nobody really cares Scat louvre 011223 ... no reason "are you having a nervous breakdown?" someone jokingly asked me at work today. i just kind of laughed, because i wasn't. i was just incredibly busy. but later i didn't laugh. it was all so random in its non-randomness. and it wasn't exactly this, but more of a mini-explosion or implosion. what's left is a mix of relief and confusion. 051127 ... no reason i don't know why i just talked like a robot. this wasn't robotic in the least. 051127 ... dee dee dee let's be all melodramatic, shall we? 051127 ... do be do why yes, we shall. 051127 ... misstree my back against a cliff, sword in hand, half circle of fanged beasts ready to leap, keeping me pinned between bloody explosion and endless fall. how long can i stay hyper-alert, balanced, until the smallest slip and i fall to jaws or rocks and thrash and scream but there's no waking up, just reincarnating. i've been pinned on this cliff before and my ears are straining for the sounds of the arrival of reinforcements and sweat drips and prayers flutter and i hope i make it through this without breaking down but it'll take a miracle. 060503 ... 4444 yes. this is pretty fucked up, i haven't been like this for a while but i really feel like juping off a brigde or laying on the floor and not getting up. i guess i have too many things going at the same time, like too many bad things going at the same time. well there is this thing with money, i don't have it. thing is that i have borrowed money from corporations and now well, they want it back but like i said before i don't have it. so they make my life miserable everyday and though i don't care as much it still affects me because well i don't know and i think my brother is an alcoholic and im probably a drug addict too and im also very insecure especially when it comes to the opposite sex. the woman i like doesn't like me back not in "that" way and there is another woman that likes me a little tooo much but she is a fucken basketcase, worse than me and she calls me at 4am to tell me she wants me and i tell her i need to sleep and the she calls back saying that she is vomiting blood and its just really really fucked up and i don't know what to do i wish i could go somewhere else but i don't know anyone or i can't leave . i wish i was dead 060504 ... hsg a_clean_sheet_of_paper. 071001 ... civ a_single_dot 111021 ... Doar a sense of leaving ones self, the total destruction of all you had and experienced. but it is draining of the negative. been there done that. 111021 ... NB getting close again 141213 ... unhinged me too. very close. i was yelling at my mother on the phone the other day. 'i'm sorry mom but i have to go' and i hung up. quiet_realizations of today include that i am probably clinically bipolar and currently in a manic/panic phase 141213 what's it to you? who go blather from