don't_read_me sw The stars shone around her, but her world was dark. As the wind whispered through the bare branches, she gazed sightlessly at the sand dunes. She tried to make a poetic comparson to how she felt, but nothing workd. She didn't feel insignifigant, like a grain of sand. That was how people felt when awed by something. She didn't feel like a lone tree. The way it's branches waved in the sky was too free for her. She wasn't the path that everyone walked. She was to alone for that. The stars were to bright, the sky too vast. She gave up on trying to feel a connection with anything around her. She was her. Alone in the trails, no-one caring where she was, or what she was doing. She could get lost in the woods, or she could go home. Either way, she would go unnoticed. She sighed to herself. She was so lost. Everything was fading away, leaving her in an endless abyss of grey drudge. The people she used to love were gone. One was gone forever, and one was slowly slipping away. The last one, was just a blurry image to her, a great friendship gone, covered by a humourous facade. Conversations were full of jokes and nonsense, the bond that was once so strong was now nothing but a piece of thread, slowly unwinding, and fraying, and leaving her with no-one but herself. She rested her head on her hands, and felt the tears slide down her cheeks. Crying was weak, but she already knew she was nowhere near strong. Her foundations were crumbling, and she had noone to hold her up. The wings of the dreamers no longer brushed her tears aways. They no longer rescued her from her pit of darkness. Loving hands no longer stopped the blade from gliding across her flesh. Strong arms no longer wrapped around her when she denied that she needed a hug. They knew her like noone else ever could, and now they were fading. She curled up in her bed, and stared at the white computer screen. The bare bulb at the top of her closet flickered. She wished she could put into words how she felt right at this moment. But her words failed her. She was alone. She was empty. She was hurting, and lonely, and mad. She was jealous, and happy, and different, and the same. But none of the words could fit the unbareable ache inside her. She was a combination of all those, and more, and she felt like she was going to implode. Just disappear into herself, and never come out again. She was regressing back into what she had been. Old friends wouldn't notice, because they weren't there. New friends wouldn't notice, because they didn't know her. They didn't know what she did when she was alone in her room, with a blade in her hand. They didn't know that she went from feeling everything to feeling nothing. They had no idea what she was capable of, and she wasn't going to let them find out. They cared for her in a way, but they weren't the dreamers. She knew that one day she would do something that she would regret, but tonight wasn't the time. Tonight was the time to lay back, and let old memories swamp her. She would take the good with the bad, the sorrow with the joy, the love with the anger. She would feel everything that she could for one last night, and then she would slowly shut her emotions down one by one. Tonight, though... Tonight was for old friends, and the times that they shared. 050214 ... unhinged . ( there_are_no_words_here when you search for words that won't come and someone else pulls them right out of you the_beauty_of_blather there_are_no_words_here ) 050214 what's it to you? who go blather from