don't_bother_reading_me monadh i make myself sad, yes me, it's all my own fault blather to me is not about spelling everything right, or making it appealing to others big deal if i make a spelling mistake now and then,or i bore you all to bits if ya happen to click on something i blathed.. most times when i blather i am too exhausted to think, let alone think correctly damn sometimes i just feel like all my blather really is a waste of space go ahead and fill it with your own rantings why should i even participate if i just feel worthless *cries and sits in the corner pouting (yeah i know i'm a loser already okay i think i am just having a bad blather i really do love blather i guess i'm just not cut out of the same metal as some (what was that fit i just threw about anyway?) sorry forget ya read dis 010802 ... Only Me no, it doesn't matter and you don't come here to please everyone else i'm just pleasing myself this isn't an exam and if it were... big deal nobody will give you anything out of it so i get what i can squeeze from it 040316 ... unhinged they are just the self_indulgent words of a child you cannot erase what i have written for better or worse you cannot erase what our lives have written mutually exclusive of each other except for a second or hours that flashed by in a second and i cherish the sentiment but i have heard several times that i will find someone just not that one that speaks that i deserve so much better than what they could give me because they place me on a pedestal made of words not knowing that i only wanted what they could give and nothing more i haven't asked for a hero but i only can find self-proclaimed assholes on valiant steeds ready to cry at changes they can't make or help and my walls have grown thick which i did not realize until recently that as scared as i always was i was open but now i am shut and it is only self_preservation that makes him scared to speak and it is only self_preservation that holds me silent because my heart is frozen and that is why i am alone when the words should find me they never do and i hold silent silence has always been the first step to heartache for me but love is hurt a few moments of smile for a forever of hurt and that is something that no one can change and the moments can be worth the risk if every moment after wasn't only self_indulgent whining no one can fix what has been undone and i dream of broken legs of_walls and know that now is not the time i am still broken that will take years to mend that i shouldn't subject you to don't bother reading me words that create a false ideal i am much less lofty than you place me on and i feel that i could never live up to the pedestal i have made for myself here if i could erase it all i would spare you the time and pieces of you it has taken from you but we cannot erase what we have written mutually exclusive of each other words nothing more than the meaning we read into them with comprehension a matter of individual choice 040316 ... Doar . 040316 ... nom meta? or what 060104 ... nom meta? or what 060104 ... meta meta 060104 what's it to you? who go blather from