self_indulgent misstree i want this out, gone, this cancer that blackens my thoughts and makes me lust for you, for him, for there, for then... i want to be let go, to be free, to forget, to move on, to heal, to scab over and leave me with scars to call my own and no one else's, to have no on in my head besides myself... "why do you let someone rent space in your head" he told me, and it surprised me, because having people there to keep me company is so comforting... and i need this obsession, this hollow shell to drink from, this corpse to mourn, this altar to kneel at... i just want this cancer gone.. 001229 ... unhinged words don't actually DO anything i'm trying to not_writing about it it's mostly just a distant dream a blur of my true reality for a second a too brief second in the hour of my life no_no i'm trying to shut up about it such a familiar litany 'stop your self_indulgent whining already' springtime_can_kill_you or spring_time_can_kill_you 070430 ... unhinged blehck 100922 ... unhinged whine whine whine but overall i am more comfortable with the alone than i used to be 160319 what's it to you? who go blather from