her_rainy_day flowerock Is helping me to remember my true self. I remember loving the monsoon rains, hot, dry ground beneath my bare feet turning slowly to silty mud with sharp pebbles, releasing the spade foot toads and the wonderful scent of the desert ground and plants. Crying through a smile, laughing and crying and running, cutting my feet and tearing the bottoms of my heavy wet jeans, discarding my shirt because I wore bras back then and the colorful dye in my hair would just stain it anyway. I would walk everywhere, miles and miles, I was comfortable anywhere, always knowing it would always be "alright" because there was no other choice, no other way it could be... even if horrible things happened the outcome would be "alright" because it was how it should be, if I was alive then I was ok, if I died, then I was ok too. How would I know if I wasn't? only the processes were sometimes difficult or scary, never the results... the results could always change with more processing. I was so fortunate to have the friends I did and the teachers I did. My first boyfriend was one of the sweetest people I've known yet and certainly kept me out of silly teenage type trouble and lead my young spirit in the direction of love, patience, hope, and perseverance. I am thankful for this and to still have this song that he recorded for me to remind me of all of this. I now have a sweet soul to call my heartmate, the highest quality heart and human soul that I know who fits so well and lovingly with mine. He guides me to the same place of love and hope, reminds me that it is real and possible, that the process cannot hurt me, only teach me. I am glad to be who I am and that I can remember who I was, study my notes and continue to grow and take new notes. I used to say I wanted to be someone that my past self would love and want to spend time with, be proud of. I feel that in some ways I am, but there are things that my past self would certainly bring to my attention and want me to understand and return to, to make better. I will be that person soon, I already am, I am in progress. 140127 ... flowerock the words to the song, there is one line I could not understand, I wonder what those words are... "she lit the candles in the window as her rainy day came down she'll be outside in a minute I can see her waving by the roadside how I wish to be there with her under this gray sky beneath the rain somewhere I know you are out there on this rainy day candle burning in the window its light was always bright these days the rain has come it's her rainy day the puddles line across the driveway I can see her dance among them I can hear her laugh and see her smile if only I could touch her face we would dance among the puddles catching rain with our bare hands under this gray sky beneath the rain a candle burning in the window its light was always bright these days the rain has come today it's her rainy day" 140127 ... unhinged song of this blathe: after the rain - little dragon 140127 ... flowerock thank you unhinged, great song, cute video, goes right along... 140127 ... flowerock Remember to smile and laugh and know that it will be alright. Always. Keep moving forward, keep climbing, keep loving. Embrace change and progress. 140922 what's it to you? who go blather from