iv_kingsuperspecial_importance frAnk what is important to you? 011007 ... kingsuperspecial well, I don't know, exactly. I think that is changing these days. I used to act as though "stuff" was really important, as was "success". This was related to having a good income, owning nice new things, etc. I my childhood was not like that, in retrospect it seemed I tried to make up for that, to have all the comforts which have been waved in my face but I was denied to me during my lower-middle-class-single-mother-rural-eastern-united-states childhood. I used to HATE anyone that had "more" than me. What a waste. Now, what's most important to me is finding some peace in myself, and resolving what cause me anxiety. I get real worried that I'll never find love, and I'd like to figure that out. I've got a lot of issues around love - classic child of divorce. There is quite a conflict raging inside me – a desperate need to find an unconditional love that won’t ever abandon me, pitted against an unshakeable conviction that love like that is just not possible. So, what’s important to me is finding a way to end that battle. I think that way will probably come from solving the first part, reducing my need to be loved by someone other than myself. That will be easier than the second part. I don’t seem to meet many women that would put up with my running around the house in my wetsuit with their undies on my head. 011009 ... kingsuperspecial As an aside: If your parents got divorced, whether you think it affected you or not, you should read Judith Wallerstein's "unexpected legacy of divorce". heck, even if you don't have a divorced family you should read it. Some sickening number, like one in four adults, come from a divorced family. That's 75%, people. Since 1970 one million children PER YEAR have been through a divorce. So, there's a ton of us out there. you might benefit from learning what makes us tick. Anyways, it covers a lot of stuff about how kids work, and how they take the examples of the adults around them to be the template for what to expect from the world. Considering what most adults do and say around and to their kids, this is a pretty frightening thought. Here's the revelation I found in this book: you take 100 kids and put them through what I (or you) went through as a kid, and 99 of them will be tweaked in almost EXACTLY the same ways. I can't tell you what a relief that was to find that out. It made me feel "normal", and gave me a way to wrap all the bad as a "reaction to my environment" that can be allowed for, comforted, and worked around. Before I was stuck with "it's just the way I am" and therefore I can never change. That sucked - hope it's almost over. 011009 ... Dafremen I'm just sorry that you had to go through it ol' man. I could've told ya that years ago. As a kid who raised myself until the age of 9 and again at 16, I think I lucked out in a way. I've been spared the preconcieved notions and values that WOULD have been crammed down my thoat and instead I started with a clean slate and an observant nature. There IS love that won't abandon you do0d. It's real, it exists and I have it. The question is, if I were still looking, would all of the false alarms be worth it? I'm not sure that they would, as wonderful as being loved unconditionally is. Anyhow yer call man. Just so you know, it DOES exist. You can now work on convincing your "unshakeable conviction" that it does. 011009 ... Dafremen I'm just sorry that you had to go through it ol' man. I could've told ya that years ago. As a kid who raised myself until the age of 9 and again at 16, I think I lucked out in a way. I've been spared the preconcieved notions and values that WOULD have been crammed down my thoat and instead I started with a clean slate and an observant nature. There IS love that won't abandon you do0d. It's real, it exists and I have it. The question is, if I were still looking, would all of the false alarms be worth it? I'm not sure that they would, as wonderful as being loved unconditionally is. Anyhow yer call man. Just so you know, it DOES exist. You can now work on convincing your "unshakeable conviction" that it does. 011009 ... Dafremen Sto0pid Internal Server Errors... 011009 ... kingsuperspecial I love you daffy. 011010 ... kingsuperspecial what_plants_want 011010 ... kingsuperspecial free_gold_bricks 011010 ... frAnk Dafreman...right on. long live the king. 011010 what's it to you? who go blather from