i_live_too_much_in_the_future_in_my_head sab running through converstations that havent happened deciding how people will react what they'll say and then geting pissed off at them and carring that anger from that situation around for days that situation that i have made up in my head that hasnt happened and might not ever happen and i think that's pretty fucked, right there. getting snappy at a friend because last night in my head i had a converstaion with her that she took badly. getting all fucked up and sad over things that havent happened, over future converstations that have never been sometimes i stand back from the mirror and wonder what the fuck i am 040610 ... .... maybe you should wonder about the way you think. 040610 ... sab and i wonder why i think the way i do 040610 ... megan i do the same thing sabbie countless times i have laid in my bed and gone over situations that are impossible for others to get out of without making some mention of me whether it be in a good or bad way and i always revel in what i come up with i've even caught myself talking the situation out, saying all lines of dialogue and squeezing my eyes real tight and imagining the way their faces look when they speak then when i see them in real life, i automatically react to them as if that conversation were history somehow, mixed in with all the personality flaws and imperfections our relationship has already it's quite beautiful to have a vivid imagination, but it will drive you fairly nuts at times as well 040610 ... mood ring and i guess thats why me and her were so fundamentaly different. she came right out and said it. i waited, figured pros and cons to my actions- and missed my chance. always offbeat, marking steps quietly. could have been a star were you not quite so there. 040610 ... your friendly helpful blather life solver you guys need more exercise, and more artistic/physical catharsis 040611 ... ferret when i'm mad i always go through insane scenarious in my head that i know would never happen but still, it's totally depressing. 040611 ... cinzento I know exactly what you're talking about sabbie. I do that all the time. I keep catching myself doing it and realize how it influences everything I do. I need to stop it. 040611 ... sab your friendly helpful blather life solver suggested "you guys need more exercise, and more artistic/physical catharsis" ROTF thanks for the advice, im sure it was meant well. but im a bunch of steps ahead of you. i already devote every waking moment and a bunch of sleeping ones to art, mostly mine but sometimes other peoples. [wipes tears of laughter] but thanks. it was a spanking plan 040612 ... witchesrequiem Sab when you think like that write it down and heay it may turn in to a good book read! 040613 ... sab and things are so much better but still i catch myself looking at the future instead of at the present. c'mon sab learn the lession surely by now you can learn this lesson 070307 what's it to you? who go blather from