aim_logs highanddry To Aziz. I stumbled across some old AIM logs of conversations with you and Rachel this afternoon. It's funny how reading them transports me to my dorm room, with the stress of papers weighing on my brain, and the memory of the hospital fresh in my mind. And I saw how you led me on, blatantly lying about other girls, convincing me that I was just suspicious and jealous. You gave me a piece of the picture, stories of just falling asleep on this girl's bed, or having a long chat with that girl about intimacy. I wanted to believe so badly that I stopped trusting my instincts and blinded myself for you. I even apologized to Rachel for being upset with her for fooling around with you while I was sleeping in that room. I told her I wished she'd never gotten involved with me, because I just hurt people. How quick I was to lie down and accept all the blame, becoming a doormat for anyone who needed one. I still have this deep, painful wound from being stepped on for five long years, and it's not healing as quickly as it should. And I hate to say it, but I hope you two scar each other as deeply as you've both scarred me. And I don't want to be a doormat ever again. 050726 ... Doar good for you. 050726 ... stork daddy maybe you're someone i know. doesn't matter. we're born into being harmed by others and harming others all too often. anything we can do to step out of it, to step back and see what can be done, is blessed. 060125 ... Zero Don't regret your desire for vengeance when it's justified. Don't try to convince yourself that it's wrong to be angry when there's nothing else you can feel. To do that is to deny part of ourselves, and to be less than truly human. Less than what we truly are. 060426 ... ivyducktwilightseto sounds like some bitch's car needs to be keyed. 060428 ... Emtyness Alive both of them deserve each other they will cheat lie have affairs and will spend there life in misery. people like that dont change and hen he come crawling to you kick him in the nuts from me. You CAN do better you WILL do better and eventually you will be happy. Before your time is out on this earth you will be hurt again maybe more mabye less but it will happen. But there will be days were it will all seem worth it, worth the waiting worth the pain in the end it will be worth it. 060428 ... a kid. people are so quick to judge hearing only one side of the story. but things like that don't matter when you need love and support. hopefully happiness will come to everyone involved, and everyone will learn to sincerely wish happiness for everyone else. 060512 ... emmi just reading that made me so angry i could punch someone... (but i have issues too) i guess the best way to think of it is what goes around comes around... it'll come back to him at some point. 060512 what's it to you? who go blather from