even_when_you_are_not_there fyn gula possible? the answer is the question. the wonder is the source. if fuel is necessary, then the earth is faithful. the sky merely suggests inhalation. the sun is behind the clouds. the skin bleeds each time it is pricked. the heartbeat is heard in the silence of sleep. the voice is whispered prayer. cry if you have to. shout when you cannot be heard. laugh when it's funny and listen until it hurts. impossibility is always the lie that fear is real. any lack of courage is the absence of truth. for anything that happened will take place even if you are not there. 010210 ... sabbie much like the tree in the forest, will the world disappear if i close my eyes? does my tea pot stil dance like a butterfly when i am not in the kitchen? does the painful rememberance still shine in little tuppence's black eyes when i leave the room? do my clothes remember the feeling of encasing me when i hang them back up? does the hair on the floor rithe like snakes in a pit all day, or jsut when i am out? what do the videos chat about at night when we turn off the light? what does the bath sing during the day when i am at work? do the glasses and the mugs gossip when i close the cupboard? will the world remember to turn when i have turned away? 010619 ... . . 050602 ... unhinged i can smell and taste your cigarettes hear the songs we used to listen to over and over again so many things so many even when you are not there you are there inside my head every breath every touch every glance the bruises you gave me are almost gone it's all i have left of you i don't want them to go 050602 ... jane your thought drifts around me, like your smoke or mine, o's of happiness. my ode. you make a joke but i was always serious. when you are not there i glance over hoping you stayed. you're not here. you're not here, & the room is dull & heavy with your absence. it's drained of you. everything: empty beer bottles, discarded sandals, open condom wrapper. my skin. i opened the curtains to let some light in. i opened the back door hoping the absence of you would blow out somehow. the air cleared, but you did not. 050602 ... eklektic i lie in your bed and breath in the smell of you and me: your body wash for men that i sometimes use and my patchouli that you've come to secretly enjoy. 050603 ... unhinged true_love_waits thom_yorke radiohead where are we going where have we been for a second in the hour of my life you fixed me what_if_forever_is_a_lie love is a weapon but for now i can use it for you not against you i'm not with you to harm you for now 050603 what's it to you? who go blather from