when_i_was_young peyton I promised this world I was gone, meaning this blue one, all around me. Rhinna and I met here y'see, but we never were truly right for it, and so we left, just a little while ago. I've come back, because I'm looking for something that's lost, that I never really knew was missing. I watched a movie on our little movie channel where I live, about things that are there, but unable to be seen. What Dreams May Come, was the title. Y'see I'd only seen the first half or so, never really the part when Annie passes away, so I didn't relate to that movie that much. And I looked around and saw the bars on my windows, after that movie. I started to cry. There are no real bars on my windows. There are only bars on me, my heart. Rhinna has begun to feel them, I think. We've been together just a few months, and the bars are there, albeit in just a small measure. You see, I love her. I know I do. I know I must. And I don't want the bars there. I want to be happy with her, and her only. I don't want to doubt or wonder, and I don't want to be sad again. I'm begging for her to save me, with this, and I hope she can. I can't tell her how, because I don't know. These bars are strong. I can't break them. I am begging her to please do it for me. Because I can't. Please Rhinna. Because if you don't, I will be forever in these four walls of black and white, and I will never see heaven again. I love you though, dear. And please don't let me stab you away. I know you've felt it in my voice. Just don't let it win, be strong. Please don't give up. I need you. I need you. I need you. Please don't give up. 010422 ... girl_jane I still am young...I'll still be young when I'm 75. 020310 ... notme no_more_no_more 040326 ... Donald Trump When I was young I had no sense, stuck my pecker in an electric fence, curled my hair, tickled my balls, pooped all over my overalls! 160529 ... unhinged i believe in fairy tales and mythical creatures; all that is currently reduced to depression and futility 160530 ... flowerock. I'd throw myself to the floor and roll under the bed. I'd grip the underside of the bed tightly kicking and pleading. I ran, I tried to shield my head and hold my arms close. I saw colors and lights and nothing else. I begged for it to stop. I cried alone with my pain. I forgave without a second thought. I insisted that it was ok. She insisted that I was wrong, that she was wrong "it's not ok". Now when it comes up, it was all ok... no big deal... I'm exagerating. I am learning now that forgiveness is the strongest medicine. 160530 ... E.N.R.F I always found myself running from the cops. 160531 ... unhinged i was sure in the belief i would find someone to love that would love me back what a joke 160623 what's it to you? who go blather from