square_the_circle_chapter_5_ crOwl scott sensed kayla's movement beside him. she was waking up. previously she had been rolling her head from side to side, hair bunching around her face, a faint hint of her perfume creeping up, reminding him of her femininity. she shifted her weight about in the reclined seat that never seemed to give one the comfort they desired, but she had been asleep, as if she had borrowed it or rented it for way too much money. he listened for a while to her soft breathing and troubled mumbling coming from dreams that could contain both good and bad elements. he watched her like someone who discovers something beautiful and cannot turn away until the curiosity slips wordlessly into acceptance and when she settled into a deep slumber, he plugged the i-pod in, turning the experience into a montage, and now, he turned and saw her eyes were open and wet with tears. instinctively he reached for his handkerchief but she blinked in what he read as her embarrassment and she turned away from him. she stood up then, fumbled about for her purse and headed again to the cramped bathroom. scott let her go. it's her way, he thought. although now that she had shared her life story with him, he felt a connection and wondered what part of it was leading her to be alone with her sadness. although it didn't take long for him to figure it out. leave me alone she said with her abrupt exit and so he did. she knew he was there if she needed him. kayla had not even made it halfway down the aisle when scott felt a sudden slowing and sliding of the bus, as if the driver had to apply the brakes unexpectedly and with urgency. he had been watching kayla, her head down and shoulders drooping, and saw her body abruptly tossed backwards by the surprise change in the greyhound's forward motion. she nearly fell and so he yanked the headfones off his ears and rushed to catch her, noticing the rapid descent in the speed of the bus, struggling with a firm hold of his legs against the gravity that wanted to pull him to the floor as well. finally, the bus came to an unscheduled stop on the interstate, about fifty miles east of chicago. there was a brief sound of static coming from the intercom and then all of the overhead lights came on. groans and mumbles of concern erupted from the passengers, many of them startled awake by the commotion. they blinked their eyes and leaned out into the aisle, looks of confusion and fear on their sleep-ravaged faces. "what the fuck!" tim yelled out from the back. "sorry, folks," the driver said, his voice bringing an assemblance to the slight disorder. "looks like this snow is going to cause some unexpected problems for us." his voice, tinged by a brooklyn accent took on a comforting grandfather quality that acted as an instant sedative to most of the bewildered riders. yet, others sighed heavily or swore out their frustration. "i was talking with the dispatcher in chicago and there's been several accidents that are going to ground us for quite a bit. looks like we'll have to wait this out. i'll keep you posted as i find out more." scott stood with kayla in his arms, realizing what he just did. he let go of her without saying a word, turned around, and returned to their seats. 041226 ... unhinged kayla looked out the window then and realized that it was snowing badly. not a light sprinkling of fluffy flakes like the inside of a snowglobe, but an almost solid blanket of white. she shivered. snowy highways made her nervous. 'the dispatcher in chicago just radioed me again folks and we are going to have to put you all up in a hotel for the night. just too dangerous to be on the road. better safe than sorry right?' most people on the bus actually seemed happy at the prospect of a free hotel room for the night. some people began to bitch and moan about the disruption in their plans. 'but what about my...' 'someone is waiting for me there...' 'i start my new job on monday. will we be there by monday?' 'well, i'm sorry folks. but it's just too dangerous to go any further than the nearest hotel. we are all hoping that the weather will clear up by the morning so we can get back on our way. but, word is this is a nasty storm and the executive decision is we're all stopping for the night.' the bus driver had a voice that people didn't argue with. besides, who could argue with that reasoning? 'oh and if there are any families on the bus or whatever, just tell me and we can arrange for people to share rooms when we get there.' kayla sat back down in the seat next to scott. she leaned over to him. 'maybe we could...' she looked at him. 'share?' he began fidgeting with his carryon. then tim walked up to them. 'yo cats you hear that? we should all like share a room or something. no funny business or anything of course,' he lifted his hands in the air like a criminal with a guilty smile on his face. kayla looked at scott. maybe it was better if they weren't alone like that. she turned to tim and started to nod 'yeah that sounds like it could be fun. could be mind you.' she glared at tim. 041229 ... crOwl in the cacophony of frustration that swirled around the paralyzed bus, scott, kayla, and tim had no choice but join the din of disgruntled passegers, all of them waiting for rescue. they tried playing twenty questions, a few hands of blackjack, and even cartoon trivia. finally, they asked the bus driver if they could step outside for a smoke. "be careful," he told them. "it's nasty out there and dangerous. stay near the bus." he was talking on the fone to the dispatcher. seems help was on the way, but progress was, of course, hampered by the conditions and the haphazard way vehicles were displaced on the highway. he put the fone to his uniformed chest and opened the door. a blast of cold air was sucked in and the first few steps became snow covered instantly. the rider in the front seat, a matronly woman with cat-eyed glasses and too much make-up clutched at the arms of her merino coat and shuddered dramatically. tim, scott, and kayla shuffled out single file. "dude, check out this shit!" tim yelled, jumping into a small drift that had formed near the door. he ran a few steps, pushing the snow around with his black monkey boots and playfully kicked it into the air. he scooped up a snowball and tossed it at kayla, who had her back to him surveying the silent chaos all around her. it hit her hard on the ass, startling her. "tim!" she yelled. "you fucker! quit it!" she grabbed scott by the shoulders and hid behind him. with her face pressed into the arm of his suede jacket, she stuck out her tongue, daring him to toss another one. tim balled up a bigger one and scott wriggled out of her tight hold and surprised kayla, positioning her so tim could have a clear shot. kayla giggled and resisted and tried to free herself, but scott laughingly held on. tim hit her square in the crotch. "you bastard!" she screamed. scott let her go and she turned around and pushed him hard, slipping. he gave in and plopped to the soft ground, feet dangling in the air. then, she clumsily chased after tim and jumped on his back, wrestling him into the drifts alongside the bus, pushing snow into the scraggly beard on his face. he spit it out, squawking lamely. finally, all three of them flopped on their backs and let the snowflakes fall on them. kayla opened her mouth and caught several of them one by one. scott made a crude snow angel. tim stood up slowly and yanked a pack of lucky strikes from the breast pocket of his camouflage jacket. he cupped his hands and lit a cigarette and gave it to kayla, who also stood and shook off her coat. then he lit his own. he threw his head back and exhaled. it was hard to tell which was his breath and which was smoke. the snow was nearly two feet in places, even on the interstate. the road, completely swallowed by white, was one long, erratic, snakey line of jack-knived semis, suvs, compacts, sedans, pick-ups, and hoopdees, all of them unmoving, their engines idling and spilling acrid plumes of fumes into the blackness of the frigid night. "whoa! look at that car!" scott shouted. he moved to his knees and pointed to a dodge neon, upside down. he could hear the muffled voices of bystanders inspecting the damage. kayla couls see a couple hunched over looking at the crunched bumper of their brand new jeep cherokee. "fuck that." tim said, shaking his head. "i'm glad i don't drive." he dragged at his cigarette, his cheeks hollowing. cigarettes were medicine to him and he sucked them completely, sapping the marrow from the bone. he watched kayla's eyes narrow in a semi-meditative state as she smoked hers all the way down to the filter. then she flicked it into the snow. it hissed momentarily. "let's go back inside," kayla said, her teeth chattering. there were ice crystals stuck to her eyelashes. "i'm freezing." instead of returning to his seat with the philosopher, tim crammed in with kayla and scott. and that's how they spent the next two hours, scott smashed against the window, kayla in the middle, tim on the end. she offered scott a liitle something from the plastic bottles in her purse, but he declined, opting instead to attempt reading. tim joined her eagerly, swallowing the vicodin like a vitamin. kayla enjoyed the numbness that spread quickly over her and smiled to herself for the unexpected feeling of safety she felt between scott and tim. they were opposites to be sure, but somehow they balanced her and fuzzed her with an oblivious happiness. at times she would lean her face into scott's shoulder, other times it was tim's. she had separate conversations with each of them. with scott, it was steinbeck, carroll, and the meaning of life. with tim, it was government conspiracy and weather manipulation. she didn't even remember falling asleep. static from the overhead speaker woke her, followed by the comforting voice of the bus driver. help had arrived in the form of hummers from the illinois national guard. one by one the travelers were loaded and escorted along the edge of the road near the guard rail, massive, studded tires biting at the slippery snow, to the nearest exit where a holiday inn express waited for them. the lobby was crowded and packed with what seemed like hundreds of bleary-eyed travelers. hotel staff were surprisingly organized and spoke with megafones, shouting out clear and precise directions. scott, tim, and kayla were able to get a room together on the fifth floor. scott grabbed the cardkey from the concierge and picked up kayla's carry-on bag. "well, let's go." he said, looking at tim who was smirking and lifting one eyebrow. suddenly, kayla heard someone calling her name. she turned around to where the sound, a feminine voice, was coming from. it seemed to be near the front desk. she squinted. then, she heard her name again. this time a little louder. it was clara, the teen-aged girl from the rest stop. 041231 ... unhinged clara walked over to the three of them and focused her attention on kayla. scott took a step away from them and tim raised his eyebrow even higher if that was possible. 'what are you doing here? i thought you were headed to upstate new york. chicago is the wrong direction from indianapolis.' 'i know i know. my mom went the wrong way out of the rest stop,' clara rolled her eyes. 'i mean what else is new. i told her she was going the wrong way but she wouldn't listen to me til we saw the first sign for chicago. and by then it was snowing so bad that she didn't want to turn around.' clara heaved a dramatic teenage sigh. tim attentively followed their conversation with a grin. after clara sighed he stuck his hand out 'hi, my name is tim.' she took his hand 'clara. how long are you guys here?' 'for at least the night. the bus driver said it was dependant on the weather when we leave. it's supposedly a bad ass storm.' 'well to me it's crazy. we don't get too much snow in reno usually. snow looks like it's a fun time though.' scott smiled as clara mentioned snow and fun in the same sentence. he remembered his and kayla and tim's tumble in it outside the bus on the highway. the three of them glanced at each other and smiled. 'yeah it is. we should probably head up to the room now. catch ya later? you still have my number?' 'well hey, wait. what room are you staying in?' tim was holding the key. kayla glared at him but it didn't stop him from blurting it out '526.' 'ok. sweet. maybe i'll stop by later.' she swaggered away with her innocent teenage gait. kayla smacked tim in the chest. 'damn kay. oops. sorry. but shit, you are abusive.' 'you seriously should not have done that.' 050103 ... crOwl the trio said little to each other in the elevator, mainly because it was jam packed and reeked of sweat. as it trudged upwards slowly, stopping at each floor to let its bulge of unexpected guests out a little at a time, kayla stared at the changing red numbers and thought about her erotic escapade with clara in the women's bathroom at the rest stop and although it was drug-initiated and pleasurable for the moment, she was beginning to regret ever doing it, especially now that tim had invited her to their room. when the elevator dinged five, kayla weaved her way through the unmoving bodies, scott and tim following behind her. they had to practically squeeze themselves out of the open doors, which nearly closed back on them in their delay. tim smacked them back open. "whoa, now that's what you call claustrophobia," tim said, bouncing into the hotel wall, laughing. his overstuffed backpack thudded against the tacky wallpaper. "FUCK that!" scott, shifting his carry on, shook his head. kayla scanned the numbers on the doors. "it's this way," she said, turning to the right. they walked past a cleaning lady pushing her cart of supplies and noticed the hispanic grandmother from the bus without her grandson. she looked down as they passed her in the narrow hallway. the squeak of the cleaning lady's cartwheels grew quiet as they trudged on searching. "imagine if we got stuck in that thing," tim said. "i would fucking lose it." "you're already lost," kayla said. she stopped in front of room 526. tim yanked the cardkey from his pants. an empty pack of rolling papers and a dime fell to the floor. he picked up the coin and left the pack. he turned the cardkey over twice and swished it through the slot in the door handle and they waited for it to turn green. scott ran his hand across the sandpaper of his face. it had been two days since he shaved. nothing happened. tim tried it again. still red. "motherFUCKER!" he yelled. he rammed his shoulder against the maroon door. "give me that thing!" kayla grabbed it from him, her blackfingernail scraping his skin. she impatiently turned it around the right way and with an exasperated huff slid it with frustrated precision. the light turned green. she flipped down the steel handle and pushed the door open. tim and scott exchanged a quick 'oh well' look and followed kayla into the room, their luggage bumping against the doorframe. there were two beds with puke green covers that kayla immediately stripped down to the floor, revealing yellow acrylic blankets and white pillows. "what are you DOING?" tim asked, slinging his backpack upon a chair next to a laminated dresser drawer. he tore his jacket off and tossed it on top. "who knows what went on in these beds. i'm not sticking my face in it." kayla removed her coat and hung it up in the closet, empty except for an ironing board and iron. scott watched her. it was the first time he had seen her without a coat on and was amazed at the curves of her body. he used to watch paige undress and always loved that moment when she was down to her underwear, how she would shoo him away. he blinked his eyes and he took the wholeness of kayla in thinking she didn't notice. but she did. he set his bag on the table next to the television and cardboard ads for cable movies. he stretched and looked around. there was a mild smell of lysol and a hint of some chemical that was supposed to make one think of spring. he walked to the window and could see snow falling hard against the pole lights in the parking lot. cars were completely blanketed. tracks were barely visible. tim stepped into the bathroom, flicked on the florescent light and pushed up the toilet seat, breaking the paper seal. he began to piss a long steady stream into the blue water of the bowl. he had been holding it and let out a hearty gasp of relief. "close the fucking door, tim, you animal!" kayla said, covering her ears. tim laughed and ignored her. "sorry! i'll make sure i wipe up." kayla smirked at scott and then moved back over to the bed. scott looked at the pictures on the wall. a deer drinking from a stream. a tiger in the tall grass. he thought back on the last time he took paige to the chelsea hotel. they drank a bottle of syrah and woke up naked. he never remembered anything that happened in between. he sat next to kayla on the edge of the bed. "do you want to use the bathroom next?" he asked. "no, you go ahead," she said, plopping backwards upon the stiff white pillow. she breathed out a heavy sigh, settled, and stared at the clock radio. it blared a neon red 6:30. "it's early," she mumbled. "seems like midnight." she deftly wriggled out of her leather shoes, flopping them to the flowered pattern of the wall to wall carpet. scott watched the fluid movement of her hips, caught a glimpse her belly button as her shirt slowly rode up. there was still a faint trace of her perfume. "i know," scott said. "it's almost like this trip has just been one long day." her socked feet were inches from his knee and he wanted to reach out, take them in his hands and massage them. but he didn't. "all i want to do is sleep," she yawned and closed her eyes. scott decided to do it anyway, but tim came bounding out of the bathroom just as he was about to cradle her right foot. he plopped on the mattress with such unexpected force that kayla almost rolled off. "JESUS, tim!" she sat up abruptly, grabbed the pillow and smacked it across his face. he snatched up the other one and swung it at her, but she saw it coming and buried her face into the bed, her tight ass a perfect target. so he smacked her, not with the pillow, but with his open right hand and squeezed. she quickly flopped over and stuck her knees straight up in the air, giggling. her long brown hair sailed across the space between them and gathered erracticly upon her flushed cheeks and lips. her white teeth flashed brilliantly. her brown eyes gleamed with playfulness. tim pushed himself against her legs, thrusting his arms under the small of her back and began tickling her in the small area of exposed flesh just above the waist of her jeans. she squirmed, arching upwards and tim watched her chest heave, the lace of her bra partly visible, her ample breasts straining against the confines of her tight shirt, its top three buttons suddenly popping open. kayla followed the gaze of his widening eyes and in the time tim paused, she looked at what he saw, sat up and straightened her shirt. "get the fuck off!" she yelled. tim fell to the side, feigning being shot by an arrow. scott was already in the bathroom, having left the second tim began the pillow fight. he slammed the door shut. 050104 ... unhinged she buttoned two of the buttons of her shirt and glanced at tim through her hair. 'dude, i'm sorry. eh. it's just that you know...' 'something's going on with you two. i know.' he got up off the bed and sat in a ugly chair that looked soft but was in no way comfortable. 'i just like to get you all riled girl. i get touchy. in case you haven't looked in the mirror lately, i can't help it.' he blatantly stared catching her gaze and slowly moving down to her toes. she squirmed off the bed to look in the refrigerator. 'empty.' she picked up the ice bucket. 'i'm going to go look for some drinks and ice or something.' tim stayed in the chair. the bathroom door swung open. she grabbed scott's arm and started to drag him out the door with her. 'come with me.' 050104 ... crOwl square_the_circle_chapter_6_ 050105 ... a must read red blathe . 050729 what's it to you? who go blather from