a_beautiful_mind m21k "A Beautiful mind" http://www.abeautifulmind.com/ 040804 ... uow the part with the stars was good 040804 ... uow and i thought the 'roommate' was interestingly played 040804 ... kx21 a Good_Point:- http://www.abeautifulmind.com/main.html "Exercise Your Mind"... Happy exploring & have fun... 040804 ... rhin although somewhat twisted is my only gift to you. it's the only thing really that i like about myself. i love the depth of myself that runs so deep that i have yet to see the bottom. my heart is equally of value to me, however fragmented it may be. all of this means nothing in the scheme of things. it means nothing wrapped into the package that it's in. physically i fail. it's my own personal failure and something that has tormented me through the years. i have finally figured out why and that is the key to putting things in reverse. it doesn't help me at this moment though. it won't help me to keep you. i am not perfect. you want perfect. perfect for you. in my eyes, all that i am means nothing without it. it is not your short-coming though. one can't help what they desire. i just want you to know that this is absolutely devastating to me. for so many years i have hoped that i would find someone again. someone that possesses all of those qualities that compliments my soul. i knew that i would know when it happened. so far with you, i know that it has. i am still stunned that you came into my life. ...and because of me, because of my self-destruction, i will fucking lose it. yes, my confidence level sucks, only because it has been tested time and time again, and i am always the one that is hurt. i just don't know how many lives that i have... hovering in the friend stage with a hint of something more is something so fragile. it won't remain in that state forever. a step has to be taken. a step that i am scared to death to take. fear of rocking the boat is unsettling, actually scary as hell for me. i hadn't planned on you. i was resigned to hanging in there alone for the long haul. it always happens when you're not looking for it, doesn't it. i just don't know how strong i am anymore. after so many battles lost, it changes a person. my soul keeps re-inventing itself and i suppose that is a good thing. hey you, i know that you will read this. i am hoping that you do. these things i can say here that i can't say there. please fight for me. please wait for me. let me fight my battles in becoming who i want to be. that is asking a lot i know, but if you are who i think you are then it will be worth it to you in the end...to the both of us. i also understand if you choose not to wait. it is an extraordinary thing to ask of someone, but if you are the one, then you will do it without question. without thought. because you know too. fate. kismet. true story. 130527 ... rhin fuck. i can't believe that i wrote all of that. it's too much. too much. i would run screaming from me. fuck you blather for having an unerasable memory. 130527 what's it to you? who go blather from