i_have_come_to_realize psychobabe i have come to realize that alot of the things i think and feel, arent really all that bad. Dealing all these years with depression, being let down, and just dissapointment has definatly brought alot of pain to my self-esteem. I know that for a fact. It killed at many times, busting my ego down, chopping it in half then grinding the rest up into nothing. But now sitting here late a night thinking, just listening to music, i realize alot of it is just stuff i'm going to deal with for a time. Its going to pass, it may stick with me for awhile and never escape my memorie, but when i'm older and i look back i know that its going to be worth it. Everything i've done, wether its gotten me in high fucking trouble, or something makeing me so happy it made me cry. I can bitch about my life being bad, having divorced parents, diabetes, feeling extremely self concious, feeling like others hate me for no reason. But what good will it do? I mean GOD sure as hell its great to talk about it, write it and get it off my chest but man! Bitching about it constantly isnt going to do anything to help. Its good to deal with it, but fucking i have to learn to let it pass, and i'm pretty sure i'm realizing it. There will be more for me to write in here later cuz i'm just yea. Need to head off 011027 ... Sonya ...that feelings are not tangible, nor do they last forever; that no matter how ruthlessly cruel Fate can be, she could always be worse; that the sanctity of one's own life never weighs as much as everyone else's; that once you start to believe you also start to delude yourself; that expectations, no matter how miniscule, can lead to catastrophe; that those who claim to have courage simply act better; that my spirit can never be shattered nor stolen; that no matter how compassionate one is, someone else will more hateful; that death shouldn't always be feared, but sometimes welcomed. 011027 ... ----- that the best thing i can do is to give up and just not let anybody in anymore 011028 ... Casey Milk goes in the fridge, not the cupboard... Not everyone hates me... Muffins are good... I guess I'm good at something... Eating whole tubes of cookie dough, looks the same going down as it does coming up... I'm an ok person, even though I probably will never have a girlfriend or get married, oh well... Clowns are just sad people with bright make-up on... 011028 ... silentbob Having One Eye Greatly Sharpens My Other Senses 011028 ... tori having one side of a brain numbs my senses 031115 ... x that being good is just not my nature 031115 ... nootme i should stop writing here i should stop a lot of things 031115 ... Death of a Rose i left the lights on at home 031115 ... . . 041229 ... Mister Brightside skepticism=safety 041229 ... smurfus rex that all people are equal but some people are more equal than others. 041229 ... Mister Brightside so it would seem 041229 ... dreamer that i may not ever change the world right now, but by merely existing i affect the entire future of the world 050301 ... Syrope that this is in no way a sustainable way to live that one day my skull is going to collapse and i'm going to be a vegetable and i'm ready for that i really am 050301 ... mon uow i_have_nothing_to_say 050302 ... three words i_have_come_to_realize god_is_online strut 110320 what's it to you? who go blather from