unhinged stuck
there's a big ball in my chest
where my heart should be


i bet you some arms wrapped around
would help dissolve
it's a medically proven fact
that hugs cure depression
as if we needed a medical study
to tell us that
being that close to another human being
makes us feel better

the weight of the things i carry
leaving me entirely_overwhelmed
it's been too long since i told someone
i loved them
and felt satisfied in the telling

i want this out of me
this blocked heavy feeling
and i don't think i can do it alone
? what for 090603
hsg imo, we're supposed to be unable to do it alone. 090604
unhinged but for some reason
i keep ending up that way
hsg what can i offer you, friend?

you are certainly not alone in feeling alone. i offer a generous estimate of 100B ill ions ouls all float_on through roughist stories who for the most part have felt alone... and what of that feeling of those who are not alone but still feelonely? then that feels like helplessness because you're there but "there" didn't work. and as for a sense of LOSS, i've read it to be the most universal experience.

friendship is a fair meeting ground.
a happy medium.

are there bars on your windows?
there're different kinds of windows.
hsg look_what_the_from_button_told_me:

way_of_the_peaceful_warrior is_alone
neesh i speak only for myself, but i find that the_only_one who can offer something to the deeply_alone is the one who offers everything. shared experiences, friendship, are simply not_enough. a change in perspective will not undo the loneliness. many people find it very easy to find someone - it's frustrating not to be among them, and being of the_unloved there is no_way to be as happy as the happily beloved, i_feel. 090604
hsg what qualifies as "offering everything? 090604
unhinged the last time i went to the shambala center (is it chongyam trungpa rinpoche? is that the rinpoche that founded shambala?) the reading after meditation was about a list of types of people that can help us along the path. my brain is cloudy; i can't remember what they were called.

but the very first one was a significant other. 'the queen' because while friends are great, most people have a way of walking out on friends when the going gets tough.

i do feel much better than i did when i wrote this original post. things are mostly straightened out at work and i met a nice person this week. i won't say anything else about it so i don't jinx it. in my experience, it takes awhile for anxiety and depression to completely work lose, but i feel giddy today. that is a good step in the right direction.
unhinged he broke the dam that was holding all my happiness inside me

what's it to you?
who go