the_chocolate_dildo baby satan welcome, friends. this is my new bar. it's still being fixed up, but it's coming along quite nicely. once we open, there'll be live music every night, including me with my band (Papa Ghostface) and maybe we'll be able to get god's band Velvet Spasm in here as well. plus, there are a shitload of band members here in hell. we'll be serving anything you want from baby_satan's_snack_tips, along with unlimited alcohol and--get this--it's all free! you pay at the door with little fragments of your souls. don't worry; they're so microscopic and insignificant, you'll never even notice they've left you. anyshat, i'll keep all of you abreast of developmental progress, and i'll see you all on opening night. that won't be for at least a few weeks. maybe a few months. maybe a year or two. but in hell, time isn't relevant to anything at all. 010809 ... kingsuperspecial please please please keep me a breat. please. oh, by the way; I don't have a soul. I was thinking I could pay you back in incrementally emptied bourbon bottles, and incrementally horrified female bar patrons. let me know if we can work something out, I have an IMPRESSIVE resume in this regard. love always (a) 010810 ... drunkandcrazy keep me a breast! damn you, alcohol! you're always one step ahead of me! 010810 ... black-dyed gel product I'll be a regular, of course, and I'll constantly pick fights with anyone who tries to get me Lucky Charms! When will you kids learn? Just because he's a leprechaun doesn't mean you have the right to chae him down and steal his cereal!! Arg! As you can see BS took care to use the indefinite article when naming his bar, referring to it only as THE chocolate dildo and never YOUR chocolate dildo. I hope the mighty vanderfookin will make his presence known. 010810 ... paste! i had one on my forehead before my chimpanzee had its lunch. it didn't work out too well and my house is now in shambles. be careful with these; they tend to coerce harmful behavior, especially in black market monkeys. 010811 ... Mushroomman It costs $30,000 to get a liquor liscence over here 010811 ... Pube Muppet I want to ram it up my ass to give it a poop flavor! 060611 ... Timmy Dubong i thought it was the name of that new art film that was out. 060611 ... poopeater It's actually the nme of a fagget porn movie 070315 ... .. up yours.. 070315 ... fix thats it... i'm going to tie you up until you fucking don't know whats happened to you. stalker. 070315 ... Pube Muppet has a great feeling especially when you put it in your ass. 070708 ... pSyche chocolate lady treats the sign said. I was rather confused, and then she gave me this dirty smirk, and an awkward explanation of what the sign meant by "chocolate lady treats." And i felt rather dirty for even buying some petit fours from the place. I really need to stop asking questions. 070709 ... a fag After it's in my ass, it's chocolate 130727 what's it to you? who go blather from