ebb_and_flow Moirai Continually aching changes character. There is a normal ebb and flow. Sometimes there is just the right amount of love, closeness, and time with you and then there is not enough. There’s a constant ebb and flow. Sometimes there is just the right amount of apathy, distance, and space from you and then there is not enough. Emotional storms distract from spacious calm as your memory washes over. We steal glances from one another but perhaps I see what I want to see. When there’s a constant ebb and flow. A certain look flickers across face. Do my instincts tell me the truth? Smiles that lingered as they pull back. There was a time when you wanted me. I saw it in your eyes, felt it in your touch and I wanted you even though I shouldn’t. Cover it up, push through, and be strong. Push and pull – pull and push - Push and pull. I’m desperately trying to keep pace with you. A whisper, a glance, physical contact. I’m desperately trying to understand my role. Push and pull – pull and push - Push and pull. There’s a constant ebb and flow of feelings. You love me, you don’t. You want to kiss me, you don’t. You want to be with me, you don’t. And then when it’s gone such a cold and distant wave you’ve become. But I do not fear those "bad" feelings. I do not feel the pressing need to transmute them into something more comfortable. For society, for friends, and those that judge. I will not talk myself out of what I feel just because you fail to understand. It’s importance I will never diminish. I am not ashamed of this so called "weakness". Oh, but my flaw has escaped. Quick hide… for the instant that others sense it opinions begin to arise. Repress, deny, or transmute it. But this is who I am. Do not fight, resist, try to explain it away. This is how I feel. No matter what they may be my emotions are acceptable. As long as I have breath in body and have life in my being emotions shall come as a natural part. This is my natural ebb and flow. all because you changed your mind all because you changed your heart But affection is not the enemy. A quandary to destroy before it destroys. For in an endless stream of never-ending waves there’s a constant ebb and flow. 090109 ... mahayana there's a monotonous ebb and flow on the artery down: bête noire{self} - {life}anathema up: clemency - irrefutable enthusiasm riding after-effects navigating rogue waves of delirious traffic in the conception of inner harmony up: acceptance - concurrence down: {self}dejection - withdrawal{life} riding chain reactions paddling through accident reports and other conveyances down: cessation{self} - {life}felo de se up: be in clover - in the cards riding waves strong current runs counter to the primary direction of travel inner peace outer action dynamic state of contentment up and down down and up in the course of time i will come to a full stop in the ever changing flow of traffic 090211 ... In_Bloom Mirrored words and mirrored thoughts Taunting, yeah They tug at me to out myself but... I will not I will not be caught 090211 ... three words we_begin fine_structure_constant ebb_and_flow 110422 what's it to you? who go blather from