deteriorating_friendship jane you know, i've tried to apologize, and i've tried to buy you things, and i've tried to communicate. i've tried to give you letters and food and even just offer a conversation. but the only thing i've gotten out of you is "i'm busy!" and "go away goaway goaway go away goawaygoawaygoaway!" pardon me for thinking we were adults; i know you're mad, but there are other ways of dealing with things than giving someone the cold shoulder. and pardon me if i thought our friendship was worth more to you than just throwing it away over a stupidstupid mistake. and in the end i think we'll find that nobody should be interested in someone who derives pleasure from someone else's misery. i know you're an only child and you're used to getting your way, honey, but you're going to have to learn to compromise because this world isn't all black and white. and i'm not saying you even have to talk to me, but at least acknowledge that i'm making an effort, and read my letters before throwing them away and talk to me and dont tell me to go away. because i can't understand how you're mad at me till the end of the world, and you're not mad at her, the catalyst of this. and dare i rub it in your face, but you asked for a glass too, which only lets us see that you didn't know anything was wrong with it either. and i took you to my favorite fucking concert and didn't make you pay me back, and i should ask you for the money back, but you're so fucking self-righteous that you just wouldn't. how dare you? how many times can i apologize and then turn the other cheek when you slap me away? why can't we just communicate like normal friends do, and why are you trying to pull the other one on your side, because i've clearly got her on mine 050314 ... unhinged i try to blame it on me i tend to exaggerate but i need someone to notice when i'm not around i.e. i'm so spaced out to avoid crying i need someone to notice that but i was just a trendy kiss in a crowded bar and you've got bigger better plans i've played this game before i try to blame it on me chalk it up to definitive differences but you use me the same as everyone else for convience's sake when i needed you to be next to me holding me up friendship the crutch that holds me up and you kicking my crutch out from under me cause i see the flash of recognition they did the same to you but you turn the other cheek pretend you didn't see cause it's me this time instead of you at least it's not you this time 050315 ... unhinged it's not you this time it's me 050315 ... sumus estis sunt spirals down: happens when things change when the initial excitement of meeting tames they begin to see your faults piling up and you try to mend but all the time you just fall back to the old ways the old days and it becomes so all fucked up so very fucked up and deteriorates unti they just want to have new friends and not you was i too overbearing? 050315 ... mon uow sigh. 050316 what's it to you? who go blather from