vent
typhoid theres this hole in the ground,
it's deep and dark and dank,
and smells of rotten fish.
every so often it spews forth garbage
like tax return forms
precious mao buttons
stained sofa cushions
cracked coffee cups
no admitance signs
charles dickens novels
john carpenter movies
000411
...
blown cherry Sometimes I need to purge my cache of recent emotions
And now that it's done I can start afresh
021104
...
p2 according to
every movie i've seen
it is what you crawl through
to get to anywhere else
in the building
021104
...
*silent screams wants to rip her hair out! i feel the need to vent..type for hours until no thoughts are lfet unturned..i can't take the demons inside and i can't calm myself until i figure out whatz wrong...everything & nothing...everything's everything and nothing in my world. itz fucked up and i can't take it sumtimes.

stop pretending u fucking care about me, stop acting like ur my friend when u dun fucking know me. u dunno where i've been, what i've gone thru so shut the fuck up...i dnu need this is my life

i'm sick to death of living with regret and i can almost swear it gets worse as the days pass...when the hells it all just gunna end. i'm sick of ppl sick of life, sick of everything i am inside...all i wanna do is disapear, but no, life fucking sucks. the only happiness i'm ever going to know is the .5 seconds of bliss right before i leave this fucking world.

in the shadows of my deepest thoughts i know everythings going to be okay tomorrow...yet tomorrow doesn't matter right now, all that matters is right now, and right now i'm falling apart from the inside out, why, bc i have fucking issues, issues that i can't even begin to deal with. issues that i would kill not to have.

people...my number one problem in life, can't live with um, but def can't live without them.
sum stab u in the back and suck every last ounce of life outta u, others, u know u'd be lost without.

banging my head continuiously on concrete until my skull cracks sounds like the best idea that i've ever had right now.

why do i do this t myself, i let myself slip over and over agian into hell, all i wanna do is escape this, be happy agian, yet deny all attempts

i wish i had a magic wand...i'd pick it up and wish myself invisable...maybe until i crawl outta what i allowed myself to fall into...maybe forever, who knows.

u can't make urself love sumone and u can't make urself not love sumone anymore...that bothers me. life bothers me for that matter....

fuck it all idc anymore!
...i'm gunna come across this awhile from now and probably regret writing every word of it...but not right now, i couldn't give a fuck right now...idc!...o how i wish i didn't care...
030104
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nisus AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hmm, that felt nice. And it was so simpler than stating all of my problems again.
031110
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nisus wait... nope. problems still there. I don't think venting helps anything like people say. Just time and acceptance. 031111
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