tear_the_band_aid_off_quick
unhinged dissolution

she asked me if she should stay friends with her ex_fiance. 'girl, hell no. just rip that band aid off. cut him out. dont stay friends with that.'


when i was a kid, i would pick at scabs til they bled. especially the ones on my knees. i would pick them til i needed band aids. the band aids were super painful to take off. i would peel them millimeter by agonizing millimeter.

my dad noticed me taking a band aid off my knee and said 'just tear it off quick. it will hurt less.'

i dont know about less. but it didnt last as long.


i have tried to stay friends with people i have dated. the end result always ends up in jealousy and turmoil. i dont have time for that nonsense right now. i am angry with you and part of me will be angry at you for awhile.

refrain
i dont need to be tortured


so i take my dads advice. if i get the the 'youre so great. lets be friends' speech i cut_and run. gotta tear that band aid off fast, get used to my life without you again.
140130
...
unhinged .

(im not getting used to my life
without_you
my life without_you
sucks)
140608
...
unhinged the 48 went by and for the second time this week ithought i shouldve been taking that bus to you


my life without_you
still sucks
140627
...
unhinged that bus is a 45 now. I got another teaching job that I have to take the 45 to; you live in China now.


the band aid sticks to the wound, even years later it turns out my dad was wrong
170508
...
daf A friend of mine who is a very accomplished pianist, composer and social justice visionary, was very sad one night at an open mic we saw each other at.

He said it was another one of those girls who he thought liked him and he liked her and she turned out to just want to be friends. He's a nice guy. I mean he's that kind of nice guy and he DOES tend to get that kind of nice guy treatment, which is sad.

But what came out of my mouth that night has stuck with me ever since:

As an artist, as a musician, our ability to connect with our muse is always strongest during emotional highs and lows when the heart of the feeling can be felt most clearly.

I told him he will probably ALWAYS be falling in love and probably always getting his heart broken for awhile until his muse is done with songs about love, loneliness and loss.

And that's kind of our job the way I see it. It's like being a parent: it sucks and there's little appreciation, but we don't do it for any of those things.

We do it to be what we truly are this time around. Unfortunately that means a lot of disillusionment, false hope, titillating highs and crushing lows.

Hope you feel better soon, do0d.
170511
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from