dreaming_of_you Staind_And_Souless When will I stop? Last night I had a dream that you walked in at my party, eyes bright and smiling, happy and laughing. You took me up in your arms and held me for eternity. Then I woke up and remembered that you hate me. 041027 ... BitterSweetDream I know that it hurts to dream of you. Because when you want something so badly, be it a appearance at a party, a kiss that is forbidden, a look of utter love... And you dream about it every night, for a single year. Then when the reality is possible, and the moment comes - And no-one walks in, no-one kisses you, and no-one smiles lovingly at you, nothing is what is was before. And suddenly the party, or the gathering, means nothing anymore. 041027 ... BitterSweetDream I dreamt of you three nights ago. But I didn't want to admit it to myself. The dream was amazing, and heartbreaking. Because it was so real that I was THERE. And you were holding me, together, bound and one again. I arrived, took your hand and refused to let it go, we walked away to a land of white, and made love all night. It was so real it scared me. But I refused to kiss you on the mouth. Because I knew, If I did that, then I'd be yours. And I couldn't do that to myself, and I couldn't do it to you. So I woke up, with one lyrics flying around my head 'Fucked without a kiss again' 041027 ... god i dream of tall buildings and ledges. 041027 ... Staind_And_Souless I deam that you and I are in your kitchen, but you won't kiss me. I dream of you. I know you will be here tonight. 041027 ... birdmad and sometimes wondering if you do too 041027 ... misstree how long gone? and still my dreams don't know the difference. or maybe they are beginning to. last night, you had made some sin, and had to repent. i didn't know when you had decided to take the pagan ways, it seemed so unlike you, even in dream's oddity, but there it was. you had sinned. and must repent. normally this was a year without contact with any you cared for, but the first half of that sentence would be served by a day on hooks, suspended. i kept seeking you out, wanting just a few last moments, but you were almost always absent, and when i did find you, you would be carried away by our different tides oh so quickly. there are a hundred different ways this picture could have painted forth from my mind. it scares me to think that it means that i miss you. it scares me as much to think that it is possible that i don't. i hardly dare to post this, to allow the world to know that, despite all the shit, i understand, and still love, and can never unclaim my kin. there are many that would rain fire on me for not hating. but i could never hate. there were flares of anger that wished they could damage that citadel, but they were nothing. nothing compared. and i do miss you. and i wonder whose sin it really was. 051005 what's it to you? who go blather from