jon analyze THIS! 011207
whoknows people certainly like to try to. and they think they understand me. fuck that! 011208
jon Yeah! 011208
little fury bug analytical bastard. he makes me insecure. he doesn't need to speak, but i know what he's thinking. he measures and weighs my flaws with flawless precision. and he's never wrong. i hate it. but i love him for it. and god knows that kills me. 020617
dream psychoanalyst ... means you are a liar with insecurities. 051122
Toxic_Kisses Cruise Guy is an older gentleman, I canít quite nail down his age, late 40ís mid 50ís(?) and based upon what heís told me about himself heís been around the block more than a few times if you know what I mean *nudge nuge wink wink* and while that is of no concern to me I think it is something he secretly prides himself on and as such to have someone of my stature (or to be more precise lack there of) turn him down is a bruise to his ego. So to prove to himself he is indeed still a ladys man he is in pursuit of me. This is far more about this guys ego then it has ever been about me. Which is a relief, but none the less I wish he would just stop. A clear line had been drawn and he seemed just fine to stay on his side of it till the other day, now that he has crossed that line I feel rather uncomfortable about him again. =/

Something I did not pick up on until today when I thought about it is the fact that the Decent Guy brought up money, or more specifically brought up his income to a degree feeling the need to drop numbers, honestly it was not something that I really thought into at the time when it was done. However upon further review to me this is at minimum in bad taste, especially when talking to someone who is making only minimum wage. Dude not cool. Not only that but are you so insecure with who you are as a person that you feel the need to bring up income in hopes of making others like you? Such insecurity is simply an indication of a jealous and controlling nature. Must say Iím damn glad your not interested in me. Heís not a bad guy, to be honest I was simply using him to distract myself anyway so this dint in his character matters little to me bc he himself matters little to me.

Thinking this through today was definitely insightful and gave me a clearer view of some of the miner players in my life right now. Granted a regular 10 yr old could of just as easily figured all of this out in under 5 mins. Still even though while gravely atrophied from lack of use I greatly appreciate having the analytical part of me back again. So yet another missing puzzle piece found, all in all today was a good day. =)
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