missed_connections hsg a posting list on craig'slist people jot about strangers seen by desirous eyes... some people apparently have green eyes and are irresistible... enticing... or_whatever the case may be, some long after a stranger they briefly passed and either could not or didn't dare introduce themselves. guy and girl alike, i think we'd all be happier knowing that the other person is usually just as worried, nervous, anxious or for the most part in need of company or to know that the world is more friendly and personable than certain mediae would have some believe. i have no regrets except for the girls i didn't kiss... a bit for myself but still now that i understand, some felt bad or rejected and took it personally... i'm just dense, really! it's not your fault (except that, well, i suppose you also could have made the first move if you were more interested in being REAL instead of social BS). so i suppose there'some bitterness left, also... in missed opportunities. but now i appreciate more fully the beauty of not holding back. maybe she'llook away, maybe not... i don't know if i would look away... just because... life's too short.. and too beautiful... delicate to the ever_threatening complacency that we have all the time in the world to celebrate it, to see all there is to see.. but no... not without great, great effort by that thing in us which at first doesn't recognize love. and then when it does, then_only_then not without great love. it is as intended towards this end... *love without holding back. *be considerate without being afraid. *dare to go in the direction of fun. *pursue beauty but have a broad definition of it. *when faced with quality or quantity opt for quality. in this there is clarity. 081201 ... unhinged eye_contact i still think of that boy sometimes. and sometimes when i think of it, i got off the bus when he did. chased him across the street. and then i remember the last creep i met at a busstop..... i don't let him hold my hand because i'm afraid i'll forget the way your_hands felt in mine. the pain of it is finally catching up with me. what the rational voice in a small deeply hidden corner of my mind warned me about when it all started. but once again, i took the low road because i couldn't stand to be alone with all the capability and potential of my heart squandered on people who don't won't can't give a fuck. listening to my lonely_lonely playlist today, my wrists itching, feeling just how deep down that crack in my heart is, trying to convince myself this is all just hormones and failing miserably. the dramatic_irony in_the_wake_of_lamentable_tides dripping and stinging unbearably today. 081201 ... LoverOfLight January 25th, 2008 090205 what's it to you? who go blather from