past_self good people i was reading the blathes i did under translucent. i was an entirely different person. its strange, because i dont feel different. but i sure did blather different. 020716 ... string jealous_of_myself 020716 ... distorted tendencies I learned from my mistakes. And now I am even more coldhearted than ever.. Except toward one person. But I still fear of getting too close or too warm. everchanging, but always the same. 020827 ... distorted tendencies And this is still the same truth. Always scared to get too close.. 021108 ... pipedream i was a washerwoman in one life, a chef in another and a librarian in another. i used to dance a lot in slinky dresses and high heels, maybe even sing in a arty coffee-house sometimes. i suspect i may have been insane in one life, or just tuned to another channel, so to speak. i lived where there was a lot of rainy days and pine trees and flowers, and had a yellow umbrella. i get deja vu a lot. 030324 ... good people jesus fucking christ, it has been a very long time since i blathed on blue. 030908 ... ashmanzhou my past self lying waits ravenous inside me tainted forever mocking i dream sometimes about before about laughing kissing boys and fun that all went away and now who i am is unsure 030909 ... Nikita the time changes, the people change except for the store clerks i see every other day or so the tone is soft anger just isn't in the stars tonight 040306 ... ocean_blue not completely confounded maybe i should be a clerk like the other guys and be filled with glee simply because i can feel assimilated into the group i could be happy in the breeziness there are certain agents that can make one believe they are happy or @ the very least somewhat content it becomes all about being in the same boat, you know? it's easier anyhow, then you don't have to feel bad because you're not having the same equalities you become equal in the unequality of the group---nevermind, i have no idea what that means 040306 ... . . 050607 ... Lemon_Soda I've not changed my name really, but I've gone through alot of changes as a blatherer. Read lemon_sodas_cerement to get an idea of where I've been. Its scary to look at things that I've done here and remembering how I felt when i wrote them, like hypocritical_flaw or in_class, or first_stab_playwrite and second_stab_playwrite. They all have to do with some heavy stuff I was thinking about and dealing with... 050607 ... unhinged i hate to tell you, but it won't be the same this time 050607 ... eighteen I have many recorded past selves, as well as a number of anonymous names that I've meant to pursue but could never manage. yummychuckle yummyC pushpins squint sixteen seventeen eighteen from now on, its a lonely blather trek. 050607 ... unhinged i went back a couple years in my catalogue and realized that the pain that was so_real to me then, is just a fleeting memory immortalized by words. 050627 ... unhinged or maybe not so fleeting, cause when i saw her again these little monsters and shadows started climbing out dark corners of my mind and heart 050628 what's it to you? who go blather from