dilaudid chris This is life, with order, in perfection, in its beauty. A warm rush flows through the brain in less than a second after pulling the trigger. Comfort surrounds your mental state, followed quickly by physical comfort, as if being cradled by a tender, caring entity, protecting you from all anxieties, misfortunes, bad feelings: these have all been forgotten. Any part of your life that was out of place now fits perfectly like a puzzle. Every part of life seems to be happily repaired. A grand sense of euphoria surrounds every sense, while each cell in the human body is treated to a warm bath of pleasure, accompanied by an indescribable gravity that only adds to the pleasure and overall bodily sensation. But the bodily sensation isn’t what makes the experience so incredible. It is experiencing life as if it were perfect. 040204 ... suicidalchinadoll to overdose on it? hmm 041210 ... dafremen The same effect can be achieved without killing yourself. I experienced it for approximately 6 hours in late October of last year. I have craved the experience ever since. Better than sex, better than drugs(and sadly, I've tried most of them), better than any experience you can ever imagine. For 6 amazing hours, I knew everyone I met, literally knew them though I'd never met them before in my life. 3 months of walking 20 miles a day, focusing on life, Love, vegetarianism, low consumption, living in the now and cherishing humanity culminated in an experience that can only be described as heaven on Earth. I later found a book by Paramhansa Yogananda called Science of Religion that described the experience perfectly. He said that what I experienced is our natural state and that this miserable condition we live in is caused by external excitation and the fact that our true self is easily forgotten amongst external physical and mental stimuli, including our thoughts, desires, worries, fears and expectations. I couldn't begin to tell you WHY I did it. It wasn't any book I read, or religion I joined. It was simply a feeling in my heart that said, do this...don't do that. Eat this, don't eat that. Meat literally made me sick for a time to even look at. (Now watch me mow down a burger, baby.) I couldn't watch TV, it was, at that time, for me, the parade of human misery. Court TV, "Reality" TV, Soap Operas, Talk Shows, the Nightly News. All getting rich by displaying human beings in the actual, or constructed act of making themselves and each other miserable. These things I avoided, and instead spent my time speaking with strangers, learning about the world I live in, learning to listen to my heart and what it has been trying to tell me all along. It was a glorious time, I never expected it to culminate in such a thing. Just the peace and contentment received by listening to my heart were reward enough. I never expected more, and certainly not the incredible sensation that I felt for those 6 wonderful hours. Never in my wildest dreams, and now forever calling me. 041210 ... thieums dilated eyes dilated ribs dilated eggs dilated spine dilated did 140128 what's it to you? who go blather from