heaven_knows_i'm_miserable_now Leeloo ! i don't want a "job" i just want to have fun. sorwy if that sounds silly, it's fun picking starbewys if people are nice to you, i don't mind running around eiver - if people are nice to me.... but most runners are tweated like shit - thats what a "job" is..... it's when people use you and tweat you like shit, especially if you at de bottom, but wots bottom and wots top ? just cos you make more money? i interviewed a film producer once and he let me be in a cool film - he throw 100 squid at me ! i don't need ya money ya silly thing ! i want fun - show me how you do it. i'll go starbewy picking at the weekend for money, my daddy will be angwy otherwise. 070614 ... help desk grendel blues in my life why do i give valuable time to people who i'd much rather kick_in_the_eye 070614 ... falling_alone i knew happiness wouldn't last long, the drugs have faded and here i am stuck at home as if this is where my life is being sucked from within me oh, but i'm sure i make this all more dramatic than it seems. sometimes though i'm sure i've understated how miserable it has been to live here. today i'm not sure if i barely talked in a civil voice, i couldn't help but suddenly roar in anger over everything that was put forth, i'm starting to see how other people's lives are not as strained as mine, it still seems incomprehensible that a family could get on as well as his does. do you think theres some resentment on my part. i haven't written in so long, i haven't drawn anything, painted, theres a letter here that i've been meaning to send since the first of this month. somehow this might boil down to thinking that being able to drive would grant me freedom, when in all reality it would prove to tie me down further. it's easier to hate those you love most dearly. 070614 ... National Hero There are sieves where we place them. They strain where we let them. Lives filter as we tell them. People come as close as we allow. But there is less control than you would think. Stick it out. 070614 ... :_( i would if they gave my cushions back, my Mumma made them. and the producer from that film is ashamed of where he lives so he pretends to live on the same side as me, thats just weird, he wanted to be more powerful, your wealth is not power, it is stupidity. giving people chances makes people happy, but i ain't gunna work for no arsehole control freak, so i won't stick it out, i will stay content and be poor. 070615 ... pSyche What would you do if you loved someone so much, and they've just turned around and stabbed you in the back? feels so lost. 070615 ... russianwinter I miss Neo 161021 ... Freak But this too shall pass.... Someday Hopefully 161030 ... unhinged the_four_seals everything changes 161030 what's it to you? who go blather from