couldn't_sleep squint something in my stomach was crawling out through my throat, but my shudder forced it back. Couldn't sleep, couldn't admit that something as this would keep me up at night. organizing my room, my backpack, my thoughts. I don't know if she deserves my insomnia, or even if its just another excuse to yawn all day. 020919 ... x if it's me who's she i never meant to be such a trouble i guess this is why it's usually wrong to follow your impulses 020919 ... squint it was a good sort of awake. and, i didn't yawn once today in fact I had an orgasmically delicious day and I have yet to tell anyone about it. I kinda wish someone would get the fuck online so I can blather vocally of these things. 020919 ... metamantrg well i'm new trow some at me 030914 ... x the numbers to the right of every blathe refer to the date (YYMMDD) 030914 ... girl_jane Still can't... 030915 ... nomatter I never can. I'm down to about six hours a night. I usd to be unable to survive without like ten. What's happening? 030916 ... ashmanzhou outlasting all the night waking dreams frighten me to be so unable to fall dreamless now 030917 ... girl_jane again...Why does this happen? 030917 ... mon so i solved the world's problems 030917 ... smurfus rex so I went out walking thinking about you and hearing us talking and all the things I should have said echo now inside my head i feel something falling from the sky i'm so silent that the angels cry tears from the moon fall down like rain i reach for you i reach in vain. -conjure one "tears from the moon" 030917 ... girl_jane Well-I was tired...Then it went away. I think it'd help if I had somebody to sleep next to me... no_touch__touch_me 031022 ...   stopped trying this time. three days, short of breath and red-eyed from the smog 031022 ... ashmanzhou i couldnt sleep tossing and turning one sleeping pill does nothing 031023 ... . i came on to say exactly what smurfus rex said, ahh well, top tune espacially the tiesto remix. correction it says "im so sad I make the angels cry" not silent 041011 ... ass facely vbg2;cr2` 041011 ... cactus patty was thinking, crunching, grinding though what I had once thought was a pretty special thing...but my thoughts and brain waves twist and flutter from point to point like snowflakes falling in a breeze. maybe I will find my way back to sanity, but for now I am logging the entries into the reality catalog for processing at a later date. who knows what was real and what was something that I dreamed up because that was what I wanted, needed and desired. and not being able to talk to you, to share thoughts like we used to do all the time is no help. I am sure that if I could read your mind, it would be a very scarey place, somewhere better left to your systems to deal with, your own brick walls. but how to compare thoughts and find out the truth if we cannot communicate? back to my own bricks,mortar and walls to prevent the further erosion of my soul. 041029 ... three words i_am_tired_i_am_waery couldn't_sleep stupidness 050911 what's it to you? who go blather from