all_fucked_up blown cherry Since I started to blather I've read so many tales about people who feel that they're all fucked up. Or their love lives are all fucked up, or something else is totally fucked up in their lives. I'd be lying if I said many of those tales didn't mirror my own complaints about the world in which I live, but having said that, and now having read all these fucked up blathers, I don't feel so fucked up anymore. There are fuckloads of ppl out there like me, and it's a relief to know. Some of them seem more like me than I am. And to know that there is so much all_fucked_up-edness in the world seems to make me happier. Go figure... Kind of all fucked up ain't it? 020209 ... one of the roaring boys .. and no one to blow 020209 ... .x. how im supposed to just sign over my half of the house when all the fucking emergency repairs, remodeling, landscaping etc has all been because of me not you ... i made this old house beyond livable i transformed it into a home with many many hours of my planning, sweat, and love [surely this has to count for something] :: guess not :::: guess not :::: guess not :: +you said id never not have a home and here you are going back on your word & are going one step farther & taking it from me, you and your abusive ways still controlling and as if that wasnt bad enough you slink around here all smiling & over excited when my world is falling apart ::enjoying this arent we:: [ive lost faith in all people] [i never want to trust again] [never ever again] just bust on through bust on through ... all this built up rage from your years of abuse the window in my room mocks me the view into the backyard that i have toiled in ... her beauty in the garden by the water fountain ... mocks me ... all of it, the whole house i want to just run through with a nice wooden or perhaps metal bat and just bust on through bust on through ... all this built up rage from your years of abuse .. all this anger .. i want to demolish all the time i put into this place while it's still [[[my]]] house ... you want this fucking house FINE! take it ... take it in pieces into your pocket ... i only fear once the rage & smashing has started that i would not stop ... why should i ... all these fucking years for what nothing ... all gone like that ... just bust on through bust on through ... all this built up rage from your years of abuse ::this all makes me feel so helpless & fucking insane ... i hate how damn yucky i feel inside how non-myself i have become ... i want to ruin this house for you as you have for me ... in your favorite room... just bust on through bust on through ... all this built up rage from your years of abuse in your favorite room your favorite if i could if i wasnt such a fuck up id fucking blow my brains out all over your pretty lil walls and wood work i worked so hard on ... blood all over the tile counter top i so carefully planned and created ... over the old nasty linoleum top ... you may think on the outside that you are that beautiful tile counter top but i know differently deep down inside you are nothing but that dirty old linoleum 020414 ... the downward birdmad "maybe i'm all messed up" 020415 what's it to you? who go blather from