talking_with_you_these_days splash of orange it's frustrating pathetic lonely and demoralizing. 021114 ... solitary Is what I imagine it would be like to approach Heaven. I am not worthy of your graces. But I love you, anyway. 021218 ... bethany makes me wonder why you werent good enough those days when i wanted something else and you were staring me in the face telling me i was an angel i hope you dont get tired of me and i'd pray if i were jewish 021218 ... niska it has been nice just being able to wake up together and talk, rather than merely sleeping beside you but never hearing your voice becuase by the time you're awake, i'm usually gone. and when you return, i'm fast asleep. i never want to go back to work. never. 030506 ... jane is better than the lack of talking that used to be 030507 ... learning lifes greatest lessons gives me that happy/sad feeling that I know you have felt too. I love talking to you, it like we have known each other forever. I hate talkig to you, you only remind me of what I couldn't have. so whats new with you? 030507 ... endless desire is better than not talking at all 030508 ... Road takes me back to yesterdays pontifications 031015 ... who i am doesnt matter anymore Would be weird at first. To hear the voice i waited to hear every nite. Id love to tell you of my accomplishments, and to hear about yours. To share storys like we used to, to laugh. I think at this point it would just be comferting, and nice to know ur not just the past, a memory thats faded by. you knew more then anyone ever had. it would be fun. 031015 ... Syrope is oddly void. at a time when words should be charged with emotion, when decisions should be being made, i feel like i'm not even participating in the conversation. i feel drained afterwards, like you snuck up and made me feel like shit about myself when i wasn't paying attention. i dont ever want to speak again. i will type, communicate with my eyes, and maybe learn some sign language. who's with me? 031015 ... Lemon_Soda Is hard but wonderful. I look forward to it, just so I can sit and be quiet and hear about all the adventures you had and the special little somethings youfind of significance. i try to say things here and there, but I always think it comes out stupid or perverted, even though thats not what I'm ever trying to get at. I hope you don't realize I'm a nobody whose really good at pretending to be a somebody. 031015 ... ClairE means one of three things. You will ignore me, you will insult me, or you will surprise me by being so friendly and sweet my heart yields again. Trying to talk to you these days is making me realize what this all means. 031015 what's it to you? who go blather from