distorted tendencies Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?

There no space left inside me, I'm taken over with obsession.
pushpins falls apart
day by day
with heavy body bags strewn around her
labels on them
burnt out.

and the arms reach out
mangled and grotesque
with decaying layers
falling off
and they try to rip me apart
and they rip off my head
like a barbie doll's.
i am falling apart,
quickly melded to the ground
with all the casualties
i have caused.
the perfect drug without you, everything... 020301
silentbob i think its like a sugar ray song or something. 020301
. . 020302
reitoei YKK. I grab the zipper and yank it hard. off comes the superficiality, the pretty little smiles, the mindless chatter, the little insulated suit between you and everyone else.
and "everyone else" hits you. hard. you're standing there, defenseless, nothing between you and life. all your life youve been ghiding behind a pretty facade. no one ever knew what you thought who you really are. and now the mask is gone, and theres nothing behind it. just a cheap crumpled halloween costume and a pile of nothing.
.x. everything 020303
unhinged i was trying to talk to her; talk. i didn't want advice or hope or anything; i wanted to say what was on my mind. she sat there trying to convince me that i was wrong. i know what i feel. i know that i have felt this way almost continually since the day in fifth grade when i stayed home sick and my mom came back with a note from my best friend saying she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. and i lived with my naieve hope all through high school that someday i wouldn't be the kid that a whole grade of kids turned their backs on because of some stupid ring leader; that someday someone would understand. i came to college with the naieve hope that i would find love; it was a new place. why not find something new in a new place? but i still haven't found it. 'you aren't ready; you are afraid' i am ready to be able to talk and listen without being called crazy. and i am crazy. i wanted to hack myself to pieces today but at least i have the strength now not to. so i just sit here, falling apart, with no one to talk to that won't cast their judgement telling me that i am wrong for feeling like this. telling me that there is hope. bah. i give up on hope every other day. i don't want to live for hope anymore. i have spent a vast majority of my life that way. so fuck you and your judgements and your goddamn hope. 020304
girl_jane .x. said what I was going to say. So I'll just add 'sooner or later, and it's usually sooner' 020304
lycanthrope the center cannot hold? entropy? there's no real thing as a center of gravity, but even imagined centers get tired 020304
what's it to you?
who go