johnjuan spd A boy who's colored my life more brilliantly than most ... I owe so much of myself to our friendship. He has so many dreams that never are realized, yet he never ceases to let his ambition crowd out reality. So often I find his words so true I wish he'd forget them so that I could pass them off as my own, even if Dr. G. would frown on that. His talent is unmistakeable and so fucking original that I can't stand to think that I'll have no idea where this boy is in a year's time. As often as people herald me as the one who will succeed in life, for some ungodly reason, I wish I could trade with him ... the world needs to know this kid as I have. I hope he feels as loved as he really is... even if he thinks it softens him too much. If there's one thing that I envy about this boy, it's that he inspires both unparalleled love and hatred... with some people, he resonates clearer than anyone else and helps them to see even themselves clearer than they might... and with others, he can provoke such phrases as "you have 48 hours to live, Charpentier" or "I'm gonna kick your fucking teeth in," or whatever half-baked losers conjure up to reaffirm their manhood. In any case, as one who generally inspires apathy or comfort... I admire his ability to truly polarize. He may piss me off from time to time, be late in getting going in the morning (though he's doin' better!), or maybe just be out of touch... I love that boy. And when I'm a millionaire, I'm publishing whatever it is he's doing... 'cause I fucking love it all. 010301 ... aj one night last summer after feeling far away from everything, i came home to a letter. seeing my name posted up on the mail list by the elevator was enough to get me smiling. i hadn't expected a thing. and it wasn't a hello. it wasn't just an i hope your having fun. it was 3 pages of here's what i've been thinking. this boy always surprises me. be it with pirates ;) or letters or tapes. he keeps me going. and despite what he thinks, sitting on the edge of his bed, listening to all the songs he wants me to hear, while we're supposedly watching a movie is something i always look forward to. and the possibility that soon maybe i won't have to go to his house to do so because we'll be there together is one of my favorite things to think about. john boy, you bring out the creativity in me. my admiration for you runs deep. we're gonna find what's for us and we're gonna be there to tell each other everything. 010304 what's it to you? who go blather from