jennifer scare me
demitria monde thraam used to like them when i was in my twenties. especially the ones at barrington, the hippie co-op where i lived when i went to college in berkeley...those were incredible. because it was a bunch of people who you lived with every day and knew by name, and could usually talk to easily since there was a family-like atmosphere. and...lots of all kinds of mood-alterants.

nowadays i hate parties completely. i can't drink, because i have hep c. i can't dance because my knee is fucked up. i don't look good anymore and it seems no one older than me is ever around. and people edge away from me if i try to talk to them, so i give up and go hide in a corner.

except there's usually nothing to hide behind, really. i just find a sofa or chair or place on the floor somewhere and sit there with my eyes closed waiting for it to be OVER so i can go home.

or, if there's a computer around, i'll very politely ask to go sit at it.

if this makes me a loser, so be it. i don't like small talk with people i don't know that are all finding socializing so much easier since they're all drunk and i am not. trying to make small talk with people i don't know while i am sober is hard work. and i don't like the stupid befuddled look i get on my face when i am trying to do it. no wonder people edge away.

i wish i could get over this, but i don't think it's going to happen.
Damian are terrifying. Especially the fraternity funded gatherings. 50+ docker wearing hard ons with legs, trying to put this or that in some unsuspecting girls drink. Dicusting. I couldn't fit in with those guys if I tried. 010927
lady lunchbox i wish you would invite me to yours.

i love you, my little frat boy...

i just wanna party with you.
good people holy shit, last night the kindest, daffiest buds ive ever come across! sticky, green as hell, smells so very strong... fifty bucks a quarter. and a bottle of vodka. three bowls and a joint, and entire bottle of vodka, and i cant remember a thing. 020217
Lumenia Frightening things. Even when I know everyone, I don't know what to do or say, so I just make sure there are enough chips and clear away cups when they are abandoned on the end table. I stay up until the last person leaves, even though my roommates went to bed hours ago. Have to be a good host, you know. Get up early Saturday morning to clean while they sleep. I don't think we should have any more parties. 020217
lulie Party: A social gathering especially for pleasure or amusement.
In other words: FUN!
birdhaus freeze_frame
girl_jane I prefer small gatherings of people in a quiet, calm atmoshpere. 020310
Q Why don't you go to parties?

You're welcome to come along with me to the next one I go to.

what's it to you?
who go