for_my_mate misstree maybe next time around we won't be infected and i won't carry this hurt. nine months later can that horrible end give birth to a new life? if there are black_winged_angels keeping watch over our ilk, let them find me, and guide me. let them whisk me to a land where your memory can fade. let them help me find peace because you are still loud, too loud, in my ears. i hope she makes you happy and still i swear that if ever she hurts you, if ever she mars you more than i did in our mutual flailings, still she will see the belly of the beast. i hope you are happy, truly, sincerely, and bitterly. i hope you are happy and i hope that i can be. i miss you. from this right_now, there is no one who could take your place in my heart, my head, my life. i will always miss you. 060323 ... misstree i am happy sometimes and i can still chug a beer like the wind but i don't so much anymore and i still beat little boys but i will never share another beloved and i still hear your voice but it's not you and i wonder if you remember and if you think about me and i'm scared to write to you in case the answer is no. 060323 ... quotree separation, by w.s. merwin Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color. 060323 ... misstree in this time of hollow disappointments and bitter becomings i remember that you were there every night i was in That Place and somehow forget the life and times that put me there 060323 ... misstree i watch kill_bill and ache for you so hard that words finally crack open and come gushing out but i will never bear the child to gentle me, have no hope of finding proper sheath so i remain a sword flashing in bloody, blinded hands. 060323 ... misstree isn't there a poe song about loving someone so much you kill them, to preserve their pristine image? your cold cold corpse would keep me warm many a night. 060323 ... misstree give me back. you have no use for me anymore. i miss myself, my independence and my fire. i want to be me again. how is it i am still destroyed? 060323 ... Cax I never knew how hard it could be to find perfect.. and keep it perfect. I never knew like you felt the real me, you degraded my kind many times before and I never wanted you to associate me with them, for you hated them. However, I still I keep finding myself smiling at the picture in my head of you walking ahead of me (that was my favorite, you know). and I still find that my heart races when I hear you ring me on the phone. I can't help but to love you, why can't you help but not to love me? 080424 what's it to you? who go blather from