dear_daf Arwyn I'm still pretty upset with you, but acceptance is slowly emerging. I just don't get why you thought it was okay to be careless with my heart when you constantly say that you never do that. Maybe you didn't realize it. Maybe... but you did it twice. I know that it shows how gullible I am, or maybe just too trusting. I just don't know. I could have loved you, but you never wanted me, and you still just... used me to feel better about yourself. Either way I miss you. 080602 ... FEoD Well now, this is salacious. 080602 ... daf Because you told me you felt like killing yourself..and my wife hacked open her forearm in front of me and my kids. Because you told me all sorts of things that made me feel like shit...for no apparent reason other than your need. Because I have no use for friends that want to use my emotional tie to them as a tool against me. None what-so-ever. Thanks for understanding. Sorry if you still hurt. 080602 ... arwyn that made very little sense... you know I don't want anyone to stay near me just because of my depression. You know that.... so why did you? 080602 ... dafremen Ok...since you want to crack open this can of worms in front of the entire world: Can you tell me who Steve is? The guy you talked about who loves you and treats you good? Exactly how does old Steve feel about all of this? Is he cool with you doing this? And did you REALLY think that a loyal guy like me was going to have ANY part of breaking up what, from your description of it...was a loving, caring relationship with a nice guy who loves you? I'm no cheater...regardless of your personal ethics on the subject. And let's talk about your depression for a second. Is this what you consider my just compensation for years of trying to comfort you through your depressing moments? Dragging me through the mud in the name of validating your pain? As my "friend" is it your contention that I should surrender my life to ANOTHER depressed, possibly suicidal basketcase in the name of filling YOUR need? Should I surrender my remaining days to someone who no doubt would fill them with guilt trips, pessimism and pain? I'm sorry..you're the one who is making no sense. I'm done with this. You can cry a river for all I care at this point. How dare you call yourself my friend after this? How dare you? 080602 ... Arwyn I've tried talking to you.. i've tried catching you online, i've tried emailing you to talk to you about this. I realize you're in the mood to burn bridges, so do it. I don't need someone who only tried to comfort me to fill in his need to feel like the good guy. You're not the person I thought you were, because the person I thought you were wouldn't talk to me like that. Goodbye daf... it was artificial to say the least. If you want to actually talk to me, you know how to find me. But as far as blather goes.. I'm done. 080602 what's it to you? who go blather from