are_we_getting_too_old_for_this ClairE Say that I'm 26. Say that I'm tipping forward into 30 and still haven't quite pulled off my first coup. I'm quieter now and less argumentative but it must still be the first round because he hasn't quit drinking and I haven't quit fucking around. I went to the Cape this weekend. It was my first time and it was with my mother. By the time I got out of the car I was so pissed. I'd had to track my keys and make my mother drive through Boston. He was there with his new girl and there I was all 18 again, spewing and inarticulate and just red. He said he'd drive me to T's, and we put my things in the trunk and I sat between them in the back like a baby. They're at that point where everything they say to each other is interesting, so I would say something and no one would say anything, then they'd say something much less interesting and smile towards each other. I kept watching his hand reaching toward her and waiting to get let out of the car. Only T was home. We always end up alone. I started letting off steam, and I watched him slice through an avocado and make me a salad. He asked me if I was all right and hugged me - he's so tall that my head was below his chest. This would have been exciting had I been 18 but it's really all too easy now, and I'm old enough to know I might not want it. Everyone else came over. I got drunk, was loud, T grabbed me across his lap then I pretended to leave in a huff. I sat at the bottom of the stairs and waited so long I didn't think he was coming. When he finally came and sat above me I stood below him and kissed him, and then we kissed, and kissed again. I stopped to see if he would kiss me, because there's no point in inflicting myself on someone when I can do it with a stranger. But he did, so I went up to his room and started taking off all my clothes. This time we fucked, but neither of us got off. He told me he wasn't going to come so we stopped, and then he asked, "Do you think [your ex] came in?" All our friends were upstairs over his room. I said, "I don't really feel like having everyone know that we're fucking at this point in time," and he said, "I don't really feel like having everyone know we're fucking," so he told me to take off my shoes and sneak out the back. Funny thing is, I got to the door and it wouldn't unlock. I texted T and kept trying, but people started coming downstairs. The funniest part, to me, is that there happened to be a cardboard box by this door I was working on, so I had to crouch behind it in case anyone came down the hallway. I was actually wondering if they were going to go out the back door and find me and what was going to happen. But T came to the back and they went out the front and he couldn't open it either. He made me walk over to meet him in the front and I dropped my shoes on the ground, tried to get them on my feet as quickly as possible, and speed-walked away as he asked me if I knew where I was going. On the way home I stopped by the bar to see if I could get W to fuck me too, but he wasn't there. I went my bar and ate hummus for dinner, then I went to bed and slept for 12 hours. 100614 ... stork daddy i don't know about you, but i am. 100614 ... stork daddy and W was with me that night! 100614 ... oren Ah, youth... 100614 ... elise YES, SOCIETY WILL TURN ON 110828 what's it to you? who go blather from