unanswered klarchen You once asked me a simple question. A question based out of abslolute sincerity, curiousity, and kindness. This could have been the one question that would have lead to many more. Many more questions that I have been waiting to answer my entire life. I entered the question and lost myself. I did not know how to find the answer. I frantically searched for that answer. I furiously teared at my accumulation of knowledge to find that supposedly simple answer. Instead I faced an accumulation of hollowness. And all I could gather for you was an expressionless stare. Now a tear-stained face is looking for you. Longing for you. Ready to answer your simple question. A question that could have lead to many more. Many more questions that I have been waiting to answer my entire life. 000627 ... birdmad the letters i wrote in reply after you sent me that_letter asking demanding and ultimately begging for you to either give me an explanation to reconcile all the things you said in private to the words on those sheets of paper or, if you could not give me that - to just say you hate me, that you wish me dead, that i am the worst thing to cross your path, anything just so that maybe i could shake away the last remnants of the illusion but this silence offers no release 000627 ... sphinxradio i get asked sometimes about me - you - us i never have liked the idea of speaking for you, though casual, should we be? committed? 011209 ... whoknows unanswered letters... will you never tell me how you feel? probably not. im no longer important enough for you to even think about. and i was never important enough for you to actually talk to me. or maybe i was and you just have a problem expressing yourself. but whatever. i guess it shouldnt matter anymore. 011209 ... unhinged "but this silence offers no release" so i keep crawling back hoping i will find the crystal jingling intervals of love; the song i've been waiting for. but i am just answered by silence. i sat outside smoking a cigarette today watching the two little birds chase each other through the sky. 011209 ... jestification she asked me why i never get angry...........................................................i wasn't..........................but now that i look back................................fuck you. how could you? how could you? are you that hollow? are you that dead inside? what a fucking lame-ass excuse for a friend. my biggest fear, and i faced it, and you respond with a shrug and a pinch. i quit. i can't deal. my confession will have to go unanswered. i don't pull words out, even though i expect others to do it to me. i suck. it's my fault. i'm a dork. the 'young little idealistic white girl' fuck you. it's your fault. you're the dork. i'm the one still asking. i'm the one still looking. though i didn't notice you looking away. i saw you try and hurt me on purpose. oh you must care after all. you are a sick fuck........you're games are stupid. i saw you see me..... i saw you silently ask me..........words and behaivor condradicting......lack of words............ empty words representing unanswered hidden wants............. i miss you. 011209 ... Wishingneermadeitso unanswered.. because.. unspoken oh I wish you had found the words even if trembling ...falling from quivering lips in hollow staccato I would have eaten them as famished as I am for you still 070731 ... gja is the worst 071017 ... qef i i i , the worst what ? is it you or me that have made things awkward ? 071017 what's it to you? who go blather from