square_the_circle_chapter_22_
crOwl scott sat in a straight back chair by himself in a windowless office, waiting for his prospective job interview to begin. the busy employee supervisor of the whole foods market he was applying at had temporarily excused herself to address a pressing issue at the bakery leaving him to his meditative thoughts, specifically about the last two weeks; a blur of cinematic happiness he had intimately shared with kayla.

one thing he always loved about romantic films was the montage portion. there was typically a particularly poignant song played over 3-4 second images of a couple collectively enjoying each other's company, and for scott it was a stirring tune from takk, sigur ros' newest record. the cd purchase was one of the many things they had done together while scott's savings from the cannery job dwindled down to nothing. after two days of laying in bed, unaware of the ethereal vanishing of time, making love and falling asleep still intertwined, the small, clothes-strewn bedroom infused with their passionate animal smell, waking and making love again, they would ride the cruiser bike, scott peddling, kayla on the seat, arms wrapped tight around his waist to the sea and stroll for hours along the crashing surf, their fingers intertwining like letters on a page, pouring out the contents of their entire existence, presenting the ins and outs of who they were and what had contributed to define them, everything brought out in the open, nothing hidden, all questions answered. they watched the tide surge up and erase their footprints as if it was all the mistakes of what was, replacing them with all that was to be. scott scratched, "i love you," with a piece of skinny driftwood. kayla scribbled the word, "more."

an ugly duckling rental car, dinner at neptune's net in malibu and the sigur ros concert in los angeles was their big splurge. kayla spent much of the sol-out show with her face buried in scott's chest, unable to stop the hot tears from coming. each song was a searing look inside her open-wounded soul, sometimes pouring salt upon it, other times lovingly applying the balm of gilead. she shuddered at her turbulent past, thanked God for her present engagement to the man who truly loved her, and tightly hugged their future, pregnant with possibility, allowing the visceral music to open her inner eye to where she saw the both of them soaring on the back of a great-winged bird.

suddenly the metal door of the personnel office opened. scott's mind forcibly snapped back to reality, still pleasantly raw with the image of kayla locked in an endless embrace, the cushiony, angelic softness of her naked breasts pressed against his chest, the musky fragrance of her sex swirling all around him. he found he was hard and had to squirm in his seat when the woman sat down again.

"sorry," she said, adjusting her square-framed grup glasses. she sighed, frazzled.

"oh, that's ok," scott said, blinking and clearing his throat.

the woman shuffled some papers and found scott's application and resume. she read quickly. "looks like you have ample experience with fish and we do have an opening in our seafood department. when can you start?"

"anytime," scott said, straightening. the stiffness had relaxed somewhat.

"good," the woman said, standing. "how about this coming monday?" she extended her hand. "you can meet me here at 8:oo for training."

scott stood and shook it, finding it a bit clammy and weak. he pressed his groin up against the desk to hide his sudden swelling.
"thank you very much," he said, smiling. "i really appreciate this. i'll see you monday." 		060413
...
unhinged scott got to work early on monday and parked in the far corner of the lot where all the employees parked. he walked in the back door and was greeted to the bustle and banter of a grocery store warehouse. the baler was running crushing the cardboard boxes and a young kid zipped by on a motorized pallet jack and almost ran him over.

he shot a look back over his shoulder. 'sorry mister. watch it.' another kid rode past powering his pallet jack like a skateboard. scott managed to narrowly avoid him also.

an older man was walking through the warehouse towards scott shaking his head. 'damn high school kids working here on their summer break. i'm glad summer's half over already. you must be scott.' he handed scott a dark green polo shirt with the store's logo embroidered on the left breast. 'my name is stan. here's your uniform. follow me to the seafood department.'

scott tried to smile and be as friendly as possible, but stan seemed to be in a bad mood. scott hoped that stan wasn't always in a bad mood.

when they got to the department, scott noticed that there was another younger kid taking orders on the counter. stan motioned for scott to follow him to the scaling counter. there were hooks lined along the wall holding aprons. 'grab a clean one and get to that bucket kid.' stan pointed to a bucket of what appeared to be sole.

'do you want me to do anything special to them stan?'

'not much you can do with those besides scale and bone them. people that shop in stores like this for fish don't like to see anything that reminds them it used to be alive. hack off the head and tail too. you know, make it look as much like a faceless hunk of meat as you can. i thought you had experience with this stuff kid.'

'i used to work at the processing plant about 20 minutes from here. when i worked on the line, i just gutted.'

'great...dolly up in the office probably thought you were good looking or something. we got three of those buckets to clean by 4. if you couldn't smell it, those are starting to turn and we gotta get rid of 'em asap. here, watch me do one and try to get it right.' stan picked up a fish and went at it. in about two minutes there were two decent sized fillets sitting on the board.

scott sighed, scratched his head, and smiled at stan.


kayla sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee staring out the window. scott had quit his job at the processing plant almost two months ago. she had grown used to jim being home; she was antsy and bored without him.

her mind wandered to relive the past nearly two months. a pattern quickly emerged; sex sex and lots more sex. kayla could feel herself blushing and the memories started to turn her on so she pushed away from the table, dumped the rest of her coffee in the sink and decided to go for a walk to town. max rubbed up against her and mewed in protest as she put her shoes on. she absent-mindedly reached down and scratched his ears and chin until he started to purr.

'sorry kiddo, i'm going nuts. i gotta get out.' it was more than a little warm for kayla's taste and almost as soon as she left the house she wished she would have brought some water with her.

when she got to town, she noticed a little garden shop called the garden room. it looked a little too upscale for her, but as she got closer she noticed there was a help wanted sign on the door. after four hours she was already pulling her hair out with scott at work. maybe a job of her own would help.

she walked in and the soothing sound of trickling water and glorious air-conditioning calmed her. a saleslady immediately approached her with a wary eye. at the same moment, kayla noticed a bleeding heart clipping planted in an elaborate mottled green earthenware pot. her eyes involuntarily widened in delight. the saleslady smelled blood.

'can i help you with something?'

'well, i stopped in because i noticed your help wanted sign, but i just love that bleeding heart in that bluegreen pot. how much?'

'it's on sale for $75.'

kayla cringed and bit her lip. 'could i fill out an application while i decide?'

'why of course.' kayla left the store with the plant, her credit card that much closer to being maxed out pretty sure she wouldn't hear back from the garden room about their floor sales position. 		060413
...
crOwl scott pulled his soiled apron off and threw it in the laundry hamper where his co-worker stan had shown him. the first work day went surprisingly fast, with the highlight coming mid-day when he was introduced how to work the counter and handle customer requests. he thought it a bit funny how people asked for particular cuts of fish, like they were desiring diamonds or some shit. he liked grabbing the bright red salmon and slapping it down on the scale, slicing it, feeling it give. also, on lunch break he had chatted a bit with stan about life in general. stan asked if he had a girlfriend and when scott told him he was engaged, stan shrugged menacingly. "fuck marriage," he said. "all women want is your money."

he punched out, unlocked his bike and pushed off into the warm afternoon looking forward with great anticipation to seeing kayla again. he had thought of her several times during the day and wondered what she was up to. he tried calling her once from the pay phone near the restrooms but she wasn't home. he left a message, calling her smoochie and said he missed her.

unexpectedly, he saw riley and aaron walking out of the video shoppe as he peddled down catalina road. they were holding hands and laughing. scott had a nightmarish flashback of kayla pummeling her and hoped he could get by them without them seeing him, peddling fast and furious in between cars and crossing the palm-tree lined street without incident. it was a careful, delicate time for kayla and him and he wanted nothing to spoil it.

he carried the bike up the few concrete steps, leaned it against the porch and pushed through the screen door of their little stucco rental house on santa cruz and was greeted by the delicious smell of pesto wafting from the kitchen. coldplay was on the stereo. he could hear kayla singing along with yellow. max was immediately at scott's legs, affectionately rubbing up against him.

"hello!" kayla called out, her voice pleasant and inviting. "how was the first day?"

"it was good," scott said, entering the kitchen, finding kayla at the stove pouring and stirring olive oil into a bowl of pasta.

"smells good," scott said, walking up to her. she was wearing a flowered skirt past the knee and black converse all-stars without socks. her white tank-top provided the ample, generous cleavage scott loved. her brown hair was back in a loose pony tail. she set the mixing spoon down and pressed into him. they embraced warmly. max meowed plaintively.

"i missed you," kayla said, slightly separating. she kissed him softly. "thanks for the message."

"sure," scott said. "how was your day?" he let go and sat down at the small, wooden table. kayla had it set for dinner with the bleeding heart as the center piece.

"boring," kayla said bringing the pasta over. she spooned some on to his plate.

"hey! look at this!" scott said, noticing the plant. "did you get this today? it's so cool. remember i told you about my dad's customer who had a whole garden of bleeding hearts?"

"yeah," kayla said. "i took a walk over to the garden room. i knew you'd like it. it's your first surprise."

"oh yeah?" scott said, his eyebrows lifting. he took a bite of the penne. "wow, this is tasty."

"thanks," kayla said. she gave herself some and sat down. i like this, she thought. i could definately get into this life.

"what's the other surprise?" scott asked. his thoughts were the same. there is nothing like happiness, he mused.

"just eat and then you'll see," kayla said, looking at her food, hiding a seductive smile.

scott, fork paused halfway between his plate and mouth, looked at her. "tell me." she loved when he smiled and showed all of his teeth. his pretty white teeth. his lips she could spend a day with.

"eat."

scott brought the bite up. "you're an awesome cook." suddenly the phone rang. max ran out of the kitchen. scott set his fork down and got up to grab the receiver.

"hello?"
"may i speak to kayla please?" the voice was matronly.
"sure. hold on." scott covered the phone with his hand. it's for you," he said. "some lady."

kayla swallowed her bite and stood up. scott handed her the phone and stood beside her.

"this is kayla."
"hello. this is jennifer stolitz from the garden room. how are you?"
"oh, ok, yeah, um, i'm great."
"i was wondering if you could come in tomorrow for an interview?"
scott put his hands around kayla's waist, and gently squeezed, and then bent close to her neck and kissed the delicate area under her one free ear. kayla arched slowly away from him, feeling a sensuous tingling all the way down to her belly and then lower.

"ok, what time?"
"how about 1:oo?"
"see you then. thank you." 		060415
...
unhinged 'what was that about?'

she pushed him away as she hung up the phone and he pouted. 'i have a job interview tomorrow.'

'really? where? why?'

'why do you sound so surprised? it's so boring around here without you; it's not good for me to have that much free time on my hands.' she looked down at her feet. 'at the garden room, where i bought the bleeding heart. i figured if i bought something it might help my chances of getting the job. as much as i love max, i just can't take sitting around here all day watching pbs waiting for you to get home from work. besides, if i had a job too, we could start saving for...' she reached down and picked max up and gave him a snuggle. he batted her face with a paw and tried to twist away. she smacked his nose and dropped him abruptly. scott just shook his head; kayla and the cat were like a comedy routine.

'save up for what?'

'well, i don't know. a car, a bigger place...a...'

'kayla, are you...?'

'no, i'm not pregnant. but the way we've been, i could get pregnant any time. i don't think i really want to be though.'

'we should be safer then.'

'yeah, we should.' she grabbed his face and kissed him but when he tried to pull her in she wiggled away from him again. 'scott, stop it. i told you i have more surprises for you. something came in the mail today i want to show you.' she wandered to the front of the house and he followed about ten paces behind. he watched her pull an oblong case out of the front closet. 'it's my violin. i had my mom send it.'

'no shit! play for me. right now.' he sat down on the couch, waiting and staring expectantly.

'well, i'm not too good at it anymore,' she cast him a mischevious look 'but i did practice a little this afternoon so i could at least play something for you. max didn't seem to mind, so it couldn't have been too terrible.' she pulled a beautiful red golden violin with rosewood and gold fittings out of the case, tightened and rosined the bow, and tuned the violin. 'my mom forgot to send some music so i'll just play you some snippets of my favorite things that i can remember.'

scott sat in amazement as bach, barber, mozart, and dvorak poured out of her violin. most of the tunes she played were beautiful, if not plaintive and sad and he watched as she shut her eyes in concentration. suddenly, a passionate burst of virtuoso pyrotechnics shot out and scott couldn't help but hoot in excitement. a smile crossed kayla's lips, but scott's outburst didn't break her concentration. the last melody came to a close and she opened her eyes and lowered her violin from her chin. 'that's all i can remember.' her cheeks were flushed and her lips parted in a big smile.

'damn kayla. you said you weren't any good at that. i...that was...fucking awesome.'

'thank you. i'm glad i had her send it. i think i'm ready to play again.' she never really explained to scott why she had quit. everytime he asked her about it, she just said she was sick of it. she packed the violin away and put it back in the closet. he jumped up and wrapped his arms around her.

'no, no, NO' she wriggled away from him again, but turned to smile at him. she grabbed his hand, led him back to the couch, and pushed him down on it. 'i still have one more surprise. you stay down here. i'll go upstairs and get it. just wait here.'

there was a lingerie store next to the garden room and she stopped there on her way home. she tried her best to change quickly. scott called up from downstairs 'kayla, what are you doing?'

'just wait down there. i'm almost done.'

when she came downstairs in the black satin corset and lace boyshorts, scott catapulted off the couch and chased her back upstairs into the bedroom. 		060416
...
crOwl when scott raced around the corner, he found kayla had easily beaten him to it and had the door shut. a crude sign from a piece of computer paper hung haphazard with a single piece of scotch tape. it read in black sharpie, flowery letters:

ENTER ONLY AFTER YOU HAVE BATHED

scott read. his lips broke into an easy smile. he snickered. he could still hear kayla's haunting stringed melody inside his sensitive soul.

"alright kayla, i'm going to the tub," he called out and tapped three quick times with his knuckles. he moved a couple steps to the right, scattering max, and pushed open the closed bathroom door with his shoulder. he entered the cozy room, warmly illuminated by the cheerful glow of seven candles, each of them burning tall. the fragrance was floral. scott looked around and felt himself stiffening below the waist. just then, he heard the knob of the bedroom door open and he waited patiently for her visage to appear. kayla quietly joined him, standing seductively in front of him as he slowly undressed. she was so gorgeous that it hurt to look at her. she watched him and her breath caught in her throat. he was getting skinny, she thought but she liked it. he thought she was perfect, spilling out of her top, filling in the boy shorts, her hips angled. the fabric slightly riding up her ass.

she touched him and he shuddered. he pressed into her and she accepted him until they were one on the floor. she was wet immediately. scott removed her lingerie in slow motion and worshipped at the altar of her beauty. he inhaled her. they fit perfectly. they came simultaneously and then slithered naked into the still steaming water of the claw-footed bathtub. kayla was red-cheeked. her hair was a medusa mess of sex. her body glistened and dripped before him as she laid back at rest upon his chest. her sweet musk filled his nostrils and he moved his hand from the porcelein of the tub to that of her leg, sliding his fingers like a slippery fish into the still moist place between her parted legs. she closed her eyes and gave into him completely, sighing forth her clouds of satiated happiness. 		060417
...
unhinged kayla woke up before scott like she always did. she craned her neck to get a view of the digital alarm clock; 6:45am. he had to wake up in 15 minutes to get ready for work. they were so unalike in their sleeping habits; kayla could comfortably sleep until noon. scott crawled out of his skin if he didn't have two feet on the ground by 9am. she laid her head back down and stared at him. his back was turned to her and she could hear his light snoring; she cuddled up to him and turned him on his back. scott opened his eyes to her face hovering over him, her hair tickling his naked collarbone and chest.

'what are you doing awake?' he reached up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

'i always wake up before you. but, usually i pretend to still be asleep so you don't bother me.' she leaned down and kissed him. she could feel the rest of his body wake up underneath her. 'we don't have time for that. it's almost time for you to wake up for work anyways.' she rolled away from him and off the bed.

scott rolled over onto his erection and groaned in her general direction. he stretched his arms out over the edge of the bed, 'come back to bed. just for 10 minutes.' kayla glanced over her shoulder and caught him staring at her ass.

'I gave YOU enough surprises yesterday. i'll go make some coffee. get in the shower working boy.'

scott thought of dead puppies and naked old ladies until he could stumble to the bathroom to turn on the shower. he squeezed out his first piss of the day and climbed into the shower.

him and kayla had a silent but happy breakfast of coffee, cereal with soy milk, and cranberry juice, gazing at each other with quiet smiles. max noisly slurped down his can of food.

suddenly kayla broke the silence. 'do you remember the first time we had sex?' scott stared into his cereal bowl contemplating.

'in reno, in the duponts' big fluffy bed, the first night we got there.'

'oh yeah, i couldn't remember. that's right because we shared that hotel room with tim...'

'you couldn't remember?! i thought you were testing me or something.'

'i'm never good with anniversaries and things like that.' she got up from the table and grabbed her bowl and his bowl and set them in the sink. 'i guess it's time for you to go to work. i have that interview this afternoon.'

'yeah, i gotta go. good luck smoochie.' she smacked his ass hard enough that it stung on his way out the door. he looked over his shoulder and stuck out his tongue at her.

when scott got behind the counter, stan eyed him up. 'looks like you had a long night last night,' he raised an eyebrow in scott's general direction. 'you won't be much good with a knife today and high school jackass requested off, so you can take orders today loverboy.' 		060418
...
crOwl loverboy...scott mused. he tied his apron tight and set the white cap on his head backwards. "oh, you're one of those?" stan spit. yeah, i'm one of those whatever the fuck, scott thought. but it was kayla's montage of love that filled the rest of his day. memories of that first time he experienced her at the dupont's mansion in reno. when their bodies were still indifferent to each other. when the first touch was her leg against his on the bus. then the embrace when she came from the restroom crying. he always loved her eyes. the twinkle and the shine of her smile. there's this look she gave him, when he knew he was all she ever thought about pleasing. he lived for that gaze of affection. saw it on that fluffy bed, when he nibbled on her neck and kissed her naked breast.

"SCOTT!" stan suddenly barked, snapping him out of his deep reverie. "you have a customer."


kayla washed the breakfast dishes and took a quick shower. unexpectedly she found her mind straying to her recent, mad, glorious, romp with scott on the bathroom floor. her soapy fingers explored meditatively. she then spent an hour applying mild make-up to her face and working her hair into something pleasing. it was easy for her; beauty is full of form and character. she wore a conservatively cut, ruffle-edged v-neck, sleeveless blouse and a sandy brown skirt above the knee. two gold strands of beads hung delicately below her chin. she wore small coins from her ears. her shoes were spanish sandals. she set off walking, stopped for a green tea at surfrider's and then arrived for her interview three minutes early. water was trickling like music.

"good morning," the woman said, who kayla had previously met.

"hello," kayla smiled. "i'm here for the interview."
"yes," the woman said, motioning her back behind the counter. i'll take you to meet dennis. follow me."
dennis, kayla thought. i thought only women worked here.


"can i help you, m'am?" scott asked his customer. she was strikingly beautiful with her kate spade bag. she leaned forward and looked him square in the eye, pausing for the fraction of a second it takes a man to realize a woman has an interest, however slight, in them, sensually.

"i'd like a pound of halibut," she said, looking at the fish. her nipples were hard against her stella mccartney singlet. but she didn't know.
scott swallowed hard and looked away.


"the counter woman at the garden room showed kayla into the office of one dennis browne, owner of the garden room and a thriving english gardening business. there was a leather chair for her to sit on. dennis was talking on his cell fone. the internet was on an apple g5 with a picture of blue rug juniper. he was trying to locate 3oo for an upcoming installation piece.

as kayla sat down, she looked up and caught dennis looking directly at her. his gaze was lurid for one brief second as if in some other life they may have been linked, yet then returned to the respectful gaze of friendship. he hung up, stood, and reached out to shake her hand. "i'm dennis,"
he said. "thanks for coming."

"sure," kayla said, shaking off the sting of her weird thought. "i really like this place. i think it would be awesome to work here."

"well, actually," dennis said. "the job is not for the store. it's to be, well, basically, someone to be my assistant."


scott cut the halibut fillet, weighed it, added another small cut and packaged it. he stole a look at the woman. she was staring back at him and it burned him all the way through. he shot a look at her breasts and closed his eyes tight. he packaged the fish, printed out the meter price and handed it to her.

"have you ever considered working at a private party?" she suddenly asked him.

"excuse me?" scott asked. he wasn't sure what she meant and the sound of her interest so shocked him he barely remembered what she said. 		060420
...
. square_the_circle_chapter_23_ 060509
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