spoil silentbob walk into a room ive never seen before and the smell of the fresh paint takes me back ten years and ihavent thought about you in nine suddenly its that last summer we had in our new apartment, remembering the clothes you wore while we spackled the walls it was our first summer away from our lives, our first summer in each others lives we were so sure itd last forever. Wed get in your old car and drive south and just drive for hours because we never went that way we had no idea where we were going and that was the point after that summer i learned nothing lasts forever. you told me bout your old boyfriend, how he'd get so jealous and threaten suicide but feel no remorse in cheating on you., there was one picture you forgot to throw away. i took you lit ciggarrette and put it out on his eyes and you just smiled. it was around four weeks later when you moved out and moved back in with him. I guess you expected more from me, and i just thought better of you. I guess there were some things i couldnt give you, like two black horses and one red wagon. i guess you just feel safer with someone that hurts you. i smell fresh paint and the face i havent thought about in so long is as fresh as the smell... I look up your phone number, you're still in the book under your same last name. i think of all the ways you hurt me and decide the knowledge that we might have something beautiful is enough for me and i dont call you to give you a second chance to break my heart. Some dreams are just worth not spoiling. 010910 ... belly fire Before we leave remember to clean out the fridge, the food will... You deserve to be ...ed! Gabe, you gave me too much, you ... me. She's a ...ed brat. Wait until Christmas or you'll ... the surprise. 021224 ... kitchen bio-experiments scrap of food, too long left in the refrigerator       way back in the corner filmed in a thin layer of ice but tainted by time all the same 021225 what's it to you? who go blather from