emotional_sobriety perfectly_chaotic I am wondering if this simply means being willing to look honestly at one's feelings. Or perhaps it means reacting to/avoiding situations which seem the most likely to create emotionally nuclear fallout, the one's which we know are not healthy for us but we stay in them anyways. 150103 ... unhinged (or maybe breaking emotional responses/patterns that come up during intoxication? i.e. from my relationship with my ex not picking fights with people when they make you feel bad not reacting out of anger not blowing up someone's phone when they tell you to leave them alone) 150104 ... Risen Both seem to hold good ideas... I think emotional sobriety is about growing up, about avoiding situations which make us emotionally vulnerable, about not seeking the "high" associated with emotionally thrilling but volatile situations. Realising that drama doesn't equate to affection or commitment. But also, it can often be about withdrawal from a drug of choice - someone who is toxic for us or for our personal thriving, who brings bad side effects into our life, and who we know we are better without. So sobriety in the sense of self denial for good, as well as in the sense of being somehow more sensible. 150104 ... unhinged emotional vulnerability and drama are not the same thing. the only way we can truly connect to others is to be open and vulnerable emotionally. being so intoxicated by your own anger that you pick fights indiscriminately and throw shit at others just to make yourself feel better...i think that might be what is meant by the opposite of emotional sobriety. my ex did that to me so often, that when it happened for the millionth time a few months back, i told him to fuck off and haven't spoken to him since. he still calls. i don't answer. i finally realized what he thinks of me doesn't matter. how he treats me is the only truth that means anything. if he wants to still play mean junkie drama games, i am done. game over. no more replays. part of me is sad, but a bigger part is thankful for the let up. i can't pick him up and put him back on the wagon. he has to do that for himself, he has to learn how to keep his temper and not lash out. i'm not sure if that will ever happen. he still calls i don't answer 150104 ... perfectly_chaotic The fighting sometimes intoxicates me. The full heat of my barrel red chest. I momentarily lose my head. Forget the things my calmer self would have me remember, but I also forget the rest. I forget all of the little stress fractures and the blood as it seeps through the heart's cracks. Then later I remember. I remember and I see the fissures and I see the new mess that I have created and feel the rawness where the scab was peeled off and I start to itch. 150525 what's it to you? who go blather from